Happiness is a state of mind...not a destination...
We all assume happiness is a destination. Some far off, enchanted place where few ever go, and even fewer stay. We even talk about happiness in an elusive way.
“When I graduate, then I’ll be happy...” “After the baby’s born, I’ll be happy....” “Once I fall in love, I’ll finally be happy....”
There are always conditions set as to when happiness can occur in one’s life. And, as a result, many of us are left chasing the dragon, wondering why we are so unsatisfied with our lives.
But, fear not, friends, there are ways to increase happiness in your life, regardless of what is going on in your world. Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, a clinical psychologist and physical therapist, has been helping her patients pinpoint what blocks their way to happiness, and how to remove those obstacles. And, thankfully, her advice has come to the masses.
A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription For Happiness, is a fantastic medicine we should all take regularly. This book is broken into 26 very short chapters that you can read in order, randomly, or by whatever topic speaks to you. The chapters begin starting with the letter “A” for “Appreciation” and each chapter moves on to a different letter of the alphabet, with an explanation of how to increase your happiness using each lesson as a roadmap to assist you.
I found this book incredibly easy to read and very useful. She pulls from famous as well as ordinary people’s stories to inspire you to live your best life. Each chapter contains inspirational quotes and simple ways to unblock whatever holds you back from finding your happy place.
For example, Chapter 11, entitled: “Kindness” focuses on how being kind to others will not only increase your own personal sense of happiness, but that kindness will be reflected back on to you. Performing kind acts (like volunteering) has been shown to increase self-confidence, decrease stress, expand your social circle, apply your values to real-life situations, learn to never sweat the small stuff, and increase the quality and length of your life. So, if you “diagnosis” is a need for more kind acts, her “prescription” states that you should give the gift of unconditional kindness.
“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” -Mark Twain
She gives simple ways to incorporate compassion into your daily life:
- Do one nice thing for someone every day. This is as simple as smiling at...anyone, holding a door open for someone, saying “please and thank you” to someone who assists you in your daily life, compliment a friend, spouse or co-worker, listen to others, or tip your server well the next time you are out to dinner. Little, random acts of kindness add up in a big way and can influence how others treat you, as well.
- Personalize your volunteer work. Giving your time to a worthy cause that you believe in is a great way to increase your own happiness by focusing on the needs of others. A sense of purpose can be quite rewarding and satisfying, and when you do something to help someone else, you inevitably get those good feelings back. It is a win-win!
This book is filled with feel-good tips to inspire you to be the best person you can be, while giving truly uplifting, positive advice on how to increase your joy in life, even when life throws you lemons.
Dr. Lombardo, who also contributes to twodaymag, has such a natural, conversational style to her writing, that her book is one to read over and over again. I have already read it twice and am learning new things about myself and how to improve my happiness every day.
She talks about keeping a gratitude journal, for example, which I think is a brilliant idea. I have always been one to write and keep a journal, but I have never directed it towards anything in particular.
In chapter 10 entitled: “Journaling”, she writes that when you “move your thoughts from mind to paper, there’s a transformation in clarity; negative events can be seen in a different light; positive experiences can be better cherished.”
By writing three things that you are grateful for everyday, you gain a better perspective over what truly matters. For example, today in my gratitude journal I wrote:
“I am grateful that Pittsburgh is enjoying a warm, sunny day that I can experience.”
“I am grateful that I get to take my grandma out to dinner tonight and spend time with her.”
“I am grateful for my health.”
They don’t have to be big revelations, but as I sat and pondered all the things I am grateful for, it really did bring me a sense of calm and peace. By reflecting on all of the good that you do have, it takes the focus off of what is not important in life and redirects your attention on to all of the positive things.
I truly recommend this book to everyone, as we can all use a happiness boost now and again. Keep this book with you at work to look to when you are stressed, or in your nightstand to read before bed or first thing in the morning to inspire you. You can be happy regardless of your financial situation, your relationship status, or other stresses that are bound to affect us all. With this book as your source of all things positive, you truly will become a happier you!
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