Two Day Magazine

Wow, weddings are a racket.

Between the stress of finding what to wear, which card to buy and what gifts to get, I almost wanted to back out of going had it not been one of my best friends getting hitched a few weekends ago.

I love my friend, his wife and their baby very dearly. Maybe that's what led to me feeling all of the pressure to find the perfect gift and the perfect card and make sure my shirt, pants and even my tie were neatly pressed for his wedding.

I raced through Target with their wedding registry on my iPhone. As it turned out, the items on their list that were either suitable or in my price range, were already purchased. (I wasn't buying a dish sponge holder for $8). So, I created my own gift bag of stuff for the happy couple.

Mind you, I wasn't in the wedding and yet I still felt pressured to make sure the things I did for their day were perfect. I was doing exactly what I say is foolish about weddings — I was attempting to make their moment so perfect without bothering to look at the future.

I was a wedding guest-zilla! Sort of.

But my gift wasn't supposed to overshadow the others. While obligatory, I still wanted my gift to show that I cared. I'm not sure how well I did on that, though, as I went for typical (and affordable) gifts. However, they are usable gifts, so that counts for something, right?

It seems everybody has an opinion when it comes to how much money you should spend on a wedding gift — one of the many issues that raced through my mind as I shopping cart had filled with all sorts of items that potentially could have made their way into the gift bag.

After I called a friend four different times to help me decide on what to buy, I stopped and realized that the bride and groom weren't going to care if it my gift — or anybody else's, for that matter — was lame. What is the perfect wedding gift? Is there such a thing, especially when the couple is registered at Target and Lowe's?

After the gift-purchasing was done, I raced to my hotel room to check in and iron my clothes. I was going to miss the ceremony, which I was fine with.

At the reception, I looked at all of the other bags and boxes so neatly wrapped and displayed on the gift table. I wondered what was in them, how much people spent and which of the gifts were things I had wanted to buy from the registry. I didn't dwell too long, though, as I had spotted the cookie table.

The following day, I hung out with my newly married friend and he talked about the many issues they ran into with their wedding — even during the event.

The couple didn't share a dance together, as the deejay — despite saying days earlier that he had the song — did not have the couple's wedding song and they refused to dance to something else.

Can you blame them?

Before the wedding party arrived, the deejay had also misspelled the groom's name on a video board. Thankfully, it was caught and changed in time.

The couple's cake apparently was not what it was supposed to be — from afar it looked like a giant Rice Krispies treat. The groom's mom thought it looked like a tree stump. Either way, it wasn't what they had wanted.

But my friend and his wife were undeterred by the issues, knowing their wedding day — while still perfect for them to exchange their love and be united — will not shape the rest of their lives together.

And that's the important part — knowing that their wedding day events were not important. They have the rest of their lives to share a dance to their song or eat a great slice of cake. They'll make all of those memories together, and the issues from their wedding day will fade — they might not be forgotten (they'll make for fun stories later in life), but knowing that the couple wasn't so upset about different issues proves that they're already on the right track with their marriage.

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Can’t get enough of our weekly columnist, Bobby Cherry? Keep up with him at Gobobbo.com

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