Two Day Magazine

Have a happier relationship, today!

At a cocktail party the other day, I was speaking with a woman I just met.  When she found out I am a psychologist, she immediately starting pouring out her heart about the hardships she was experiencing in her marriage.  At almost the point of tears, she asked me, “How can I make this marriage better?”

So I told her what I am going to share with you.  These are simple but specific steps to having a happy relationship.

The top 3 tips for successful long-term relationships and/or 
marriages are:

Keep Dating:

Have fun together, whether it is a yummy dinner out or even a quick but passionate make-out session in the closet. Life can be stressful, but keeping fun in your marriage will help you feel happier together.

You have to make time for one another. So, set aside time every week to spend with just your partner. The couple that plays together, stays together, after all!

Focus on Gratitude:

As a society, we have such as strong tendency to focus on the negative: what our partner is not doing, what he should be doing, what she didn’t do… Instead, focus on all the wonderful aspects of your mate. 

Try this exercise and see how it changes your dynamic with your partner:

Every night, write out at least 3 positive things about your partner: something he or she did that day, a memory you have, something you admire in him or her.  This keeps you feeling more positive towards your lover, which will help your relationship.

Check In:

Ask each other questions such as, “what is the one thing I could do this week to be a better partner to you?” Don’t take offense (e.g., “what are you talking about, I already do that!”) but rather clarify (if need be) and then do your best to apply it.

By allowing one another to express your feelings openly and within a safe space, you are opening the door to communicating in a way that will only strengthen and enhance your bond.

Follow these three steps for a happier relationship- and you’ll be an even happier you!

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For more on happiness, check out twodaymag's happiness expert and author, Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo's book: A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness

Follow her on twitter: @DrELombardo