Two Day Magazine

It's just a day...but a day that takes years to plan!

On Christmas Eve, Jason and I have a tradition: we open our gifts to each other, head to his Mom's house for Christmas Eve and then go to my parents' house for Christmas Day.  

This past Christmas Eve, one of the gifts under the tree was a ring.  He asked me to marry him. 

And, I said yes.  

We decided we didn't want or need a particularly long engagement.  We wanted a fall wedding and decided on October 2011 as our wedding date.  

According to research, the average length of a wedding engagement is fifteen months.

Ours would be a mere ten months.

When we started the wedding planning process in January, the most common thing we heard from vendors when we said "We want to get married in October" was "Oh good, we'll have about 20 months."

No, October of THIS year.

"Oh my."

Oh my, indeed.  It seems that these long engagements are something to do with this multi-billion dollar wedding industry we all hear so much about.

When we chose the place we wanted to have our ceremony and reception, we found that they had only TWO available dates open for the rest of the year, one being Halloween... no thank you.

...And 2012 was already mostly booked.  That we actually got a day in 2011 at all was a small miracle:  the wedding that was booked on the Saturday we eventually got was turned away by our venue's wedding coordinator because the guest list exploded into a circus-sized event of over 500 people that their venue could no longer accommodate.

Suddenly, we knew why people have such long engagements: there just aren't many places that have dates available on such "short" notice and there is a ridiculous amount of things to do.  I have friends who are engaged who are booking weddings in 2013.  

Yikes.  

Now, don't get me wrong.  I LOVE being the "bride-to-be" and I've had a lot of fun talking about favors and designing our invitations and I get giddy every time I think about my dress...but, for the love of sanity, who could handle planning a wedding for TWO YEARS?

Wouldn't you end up losing sight of the fact that a marriage is the goal at the end of all of it?

It's no wonder "Bridezilla" has become a part of our lexicon.  I'd be a monster, too, if my wedding date was years away and I had to make decisions about it for TWO YEARS.

And, why is it, in a time when the 20-30 year-olds in America supposedly just aren't that interested in marriage, there is a shortage of wedding dates available?  

Honestly, from where I'm standing, it seems like EVERYONE is planning a wedding these days.

But, I digress...

Planning a wedding, big or small, fancy or subtle, is a full-time job.  We were completely naive about this.

However, luckily for Jason and I, my beautiful, sweet, generous mom had retired in November 2010 and she has become our de facto wedding planner with my loving dad there to be her sounding board for ideas and make appointments with the all-powerful wedding coordinator at our venue.  

With their help, we have been able to stay true to our original ideas of what we wanted at our wedding.

I did what I thought was the hard part.  I found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. It turns out that Shirl is doing the hard part.

Jason and I started out with a basic concept of what we wanted: a wedding outside with a short, civil ceremony and then a cocktail party reception with some dancing, yes, but also fun things like a signature cocktail tasting and a photo booth for the guests.

It has been my mom that has turned those ideas into actionable plans.

As our wedding date approaches, I find myself more and more ready for it to get here.  

The brides and grooms out there who face engagements that are years long must be crazy certifiably crazy by the time their wedding day rolls around.  

Jason and I were talking about our wedding the other day (as we often do) and we both can't wait to be in the dress and tux, say the "I Do's", celebrate with our friends and family, eat decadent hors d'oeuvres (me, in particular) and kiss on command when glasses start clinking...

... and I thought of that scene in When Harry Met Sally when Harry says to Sally, "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

I guess that was kind of our goal when we decided to have a short engagement.  Corny, yes.  But, very full of truth.  Why take so long to do it once the engagement happens?

We wanted to get married because we want to dedicate our lives to each other.  That we get to have this beautiful wedding as a celebration of our decision to marry is the incredible icing on this delicious cupcake of a journey we've been on since January.

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Sally Turkovich (twoday magazine's NEWEST contributor) is a policy analyst by training, an eyewear stylist by trade and an amateur healthy-living advocate by choice. Friend her on facebook and follow her blogs in the "Best of" section at Pittsburgh's CBS Local.