Two Day Magazine

Where did you say you met again?

A friend recently admitted he'd resurrected his online dating site account. I say "admitted" because of how peculiar he acted when telling me about it. For the sake of this story, we'll call my friend "Chad."

"So, I, uh, started an account, on, uh, online again. To date," Chad sheepishly said.

Much to his surprise, I found nothing wrong with Chad's decision to find love — or at least a date — online. Instead, I encouraged his choice to use the Internet as an alternative method of finding a relationship.

With an estimated 20 million users checking in at least once a month, online dating sites seem as commonplace as updating your Facebook status. It seems everybody knows somebody who's signed up. And, we've all seen the commercials of various dating sites touting their skills at being 21st century matchmakers.

Heck, I'll even be attending a wedding later this year of a friend who found her soon-to-be husband online. And neither of them seemed shy to say, "Hey, we met online!" Unlike Chad, who's in his late 20s, my soon-to-be married friends both are entering their second marriage and each bring young adult children into the mix.

Still, as common as it might seem, finding true love online carries a stigma. Would you admit to having an online matchmaking profile? I sure as hell wouldn't, even though I do … well, did.

When Chad first created a profile more than a year ago on one of those popular dating sites, he told nobody. One of the responses seemed to tickle his fancy and a relationship — albeit, a premature one — grew beyond digital flirting and random e-mails.

When Chad informed his friends that he'd met somebody, he dodged questions of how or where this happened.

At a bar? No.

At work? Nah.

Through a friend? Nope. (I certainly didn't introduce him to any of my single lady friends.)

Randomly in the grocery store? Try again.

Online? ...

It took some time for him to admit their paths crossed digitally. And, in his eyes, for good reason. I know — because he told me — that he used to think finding a relationship online was for "losers."

"That's just not something I would do," Chad said. Before this, Chad was in a very long-term relationship that, sadly, went sour just when things seemed to be looking up. So the thought of entering the big, bad world of Single Land made it seem like Chad's life was over.

Damn all of those single and happy people!

I suspect Chad created the online profile in an effort to fight the Single Land urge. Because, clearly, my ability to be happy for the last umpteen years of living in Single Land was a farce? I'm on track to becoming mayor of Single Land.

In her profile, "Jane" was a keeper — professional, educated, smart, likes animals, enjoys movies and is adventurous.

Hell, stop the presses! Call the pastor! Order the cookies for the cookie table! There's a wedding to be had!

Chad kept that charade going — having dinner with her a couple nights a week, going out with her friends and, not soon after meeting, spending the night (well, several nights) at her place.

When the novelty wore off, so did the relationship. Though, he kept up the random evening encounters before those eventually stopped as well.

He wasn't devastated that the relationship ended (she broke up with him for those interested in how they split). I'm not certain what caused the break up — maybe she caught on to his attempts of limiting social scenes and skip right to the bedroom? Or maybe it was after she met his friends? (Don't blame me!)

I'm really not sure. I guess it doesn't matter, either.

It took him more than seven months before reactivating his profile. This time around, he was a little more open about resurrecting the account, and about the profiles of women who have piqued his interest.

Can he find true love from an Internet site? Maybe. But I assume the $30-plus a month he's shelling out for the site could better be spent on wooing a women in real life.

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