The countdown to the wedding is on.
We are one month away from the big day and all of the planning is starting to wind down. As the day approaches, I've found myself clicking on more marriage-related links on websites I frequent.
I read an article this morning on Yahoo! Shine about these five random "mistakes" the writer makes in her marriage and how she is trying to work on these problems.
Demanding gold stars, using a snappish tone, not showing enough consideration, score-keeping and taking her husband for granted are her top five gripes about herself as a wife. Some mistakes seemed pretty bogus and some seemed kind of reasonable. I didn't get much out of this article but I was glad I surfed onto the page because I found another link that took me to this:
Known to the internet as "When Grammy and Grampy Get a Webcam," this video was accidentally recorded by two silver-haired sweethearts who were trying to figure out how to work their new webcam.
Their lack of techie prowess is adorable enough on its own but what really steals the show here is how they interact with each other. They're playful. They're flirty. He's suggestive. She's fake-mad when he says something about her chest. The back-and-forth, this-way-that way-conversation they have while she is trying to get the webcam to take a still photo of them is so private and so open it's almost hard to watch because it is so personal and honest.
These two are a couple who have clearly been together for many years and are at a level of comfort with each other that is achieved because of many years spent listening to and talking to each other.
The contrast of this video with the article I was reading that initially led me to the video link is startling. The laundry list of mistakes the wife in the article thinks she's making are nit-picky (both to herself and her husband). The video, however, shows a couple who simply interact with each other naturally without worrying about if they have a good relationship or what others may think of them.
With married life only a few weeks away for Jason and me, I have to say that the video I watched makes me happy and excited about Jason and I working our way towards becoming that silver-haired couple in the video.
They gave me something I needed as the wedding approaches: some perspective and some distance from the crazy world of wedding magazines and advice columns aimed at making women feel like they continually need to improve themselves and worry about their marriages.
Granny and Grampy are wise in their old age. Simply by being themselves and laughing, talking and connecting with each other, they are showcasing the importance of respect and humor as foundations for a strong relationships.
Who knew setting up a webcam could show the world how love can stand the test of time?
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Sally, I have a few observations about your latest piece:
1. Is the video to which you refer called “Granny and Grampy” or “Grammy and Grampy”? You use both titles in the article.
2. Why do you presume that the couple in video has been together for many years? Based on how excited they seem by each other, my guess is that they haven’t actually been together for very long. Either way, we’re both just guessing. Also, I don’t think one can equate playfulness with wisdom.
3. How can you say that they don’t care what others think of them when they clearly don’t know they’re being recorded? Maybe they’d act completely differently if they knew that others would see this.
4. You seem to delegitimize the mistakes the Yahoo writer discusses simply because an old couple appears to get along on a video. Why? While the couple is admittedly adorable, I fail to see how their banter sheds any light on the many problems almost everyone encounters in marriages.
5. I don’t think a moment two people share can be both private and open.
6. When you include parentheses in a sentence, you need to include a period at the very end of the sentence.
I hope these comments are helpful, and I hope you had a good weekend!
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I think it’s obvious watching the video that this couple are obviously in love. I don’t understand why Power Walker thinks they aren’t in love.
The question I have for Sally is why are you so eager to get to the silver-haired stage? I think it’s more important to enjoy the journey of your lives together as you make your way toward that silver-haired age which is so perfectly showcased in this adoreable video that you wrote about.
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2PeaceinaPod (cute name!),
I didn’t doubt whether the couple is in love. Quite the contrary—to me, their intense love for each other suggests that they haven’t been together for all that long.
I wholly agree with the rest of the comment.
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It’s preposterous that anyone would assume a couple can have “intense love” only during the early stages of their relationship. I respectfully and wholeheartedly disagree with you, Powerwalker. It seems cruel to suggest people start loving each other less intensely as they age.
I stand corrected, 2Peace, I really can wait to get to the silver haired stage.
There’s alot of fun to be had between now and then!
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Sally,
I didn’t say that people can only experience intense love during the early stages of their relationship. I only guessed that the couple hasn’t been together for all that long, although I could be wrong (as I mentioned earlier, we’re both just guessing). I based my guess on the ideas contained in this article from Psychology Today (maybe they should rename it “Psychology Twoday”)—written by an actual expert—which explains how the infatuation (or extremely intense) period in a relationship usually happens early on, and is usually fleeting. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/awakening-psyche/201106/goodbye-crazy-love-cure-infatuation-junkies. Neither this article, nor I, implied that many relationships can’t remain strong for decades. Frankly, I think what’s actually “preposterous” is your description of my opinion about how long the couple has been together as “cruel.”
Food for thought!
Best,
Powerwalker