Two Day Magazine

Balance and Respect

Met someone new? Check. Fallen for them? Check. Wanting to spend every second together? Check. The easy part of any relationship is the beginning. Everything is new, exciting and special. Your first date, first kiss, first time in bed together, everything is based on firsts. But, what happens when the newness wears off and you need to strengthen your relationship outside of the bedroom? Read on and discover how these tips can help enhance your special bond.

Daily Love Rituals

Whether you wake up and kiss good morning or text each other midday to say hello, staying intimate doesn’t just mean having sex regularly. Be kind and loving towards your partner on a daily basis. David Kaplan, Ph.D., chairman of the Department of Counselor Education and Rehabilitation programs at Emporia Sate University in Emporia, Kansas suggests couples to take a half-day a week to go out on a date. He also encourages couples to devote 15 minutes of their day to meaningful conversation. (No television or children allowed.)

Respect One Another

So often, we end up feeling a little too comfortable with our lovers, and it becomes easier and easier to make fun of their little habits, tear down their ideas and boss them around. Being in a relationship involves give and take. Respecting your partner’s beliefs, opinions and lifestyle decisions will only enhance your bond. When you respect boundaries and encourage your partner to grow and flourish into the person that they want to be, your love will only strengthen for one another. Supportive partners create a solid foundation for a long and happy relationship.

Listen Well

We all like to talk about ourselves, about our dreams and goals, about our struggles. We all like to be heard, so isn’t it only fair that when your partner wants to discuss their feelings and ideas that you sit back, listen and allow them to speak their mind? Often times, you don’t even need to respond. Just being present and attentive makes your partner feel as though they matter. Being the one that listens with an open and nonjudgemental heart will only encourage open communication between you both, and solidify your bond.

“Keep the Fights Clean and the Sex Dirty”

When Kevin Bacon asked how he kept his 20 year marriage to Kyra Sedgwick hot, that was his response. Fighting well means saying how you feel in a respectful manner, without name calling, without holding a grudge, without playing games. If you are upset over something that happened at dinner, state your frustration and let your partner respond. Do not talk over one another, interrupt one another or bring in other superfluous issues. Focus on what is the real problem and deal with it in the moment. By allowing the problem to fester, you are only going to make it worse.

Nurture Yourself

Whether you need a bath at the end of the night to unwind, or enjoy playing fantasy football with your friends once a week, the goal is to remember that you are not only in a relationship, but you are an individual, as well. By doing things just for yourself encourages that individual identity and prevents you from becoming too co-dependent on one another. Having separate interests and friendships outside your relationship is a positive way to balance the “we” and the “me”.