Two Day Magazine

Always the coach, never the player...

Throughout most of my life, I’ve been the single friend who everybody seems to always come to looking for advice or just to talk about their many, many relationships — from female friends worried they might be pregnant, male friends worried they might have gotten a woman pregnant, to a friend being raped and others worrying about being cheated on or being the cheater and wondering what the future of a relationship might hold.

I’ve always joked that I have enough really fantastic story lines to keep any daytime soap opera in business for decades to come. Thankfully, none of my friends have engaged in baby switching or snatching, though.

With all of the drama I take in from others, it’s easy to see why I’m not really interested in dating. A lot of time, energy, passion and money need to be part of the dating process. There’s no denying that and there’s nothing wrong with that.

I am passionate about a lot of things in life. Professionally, my work as a reporter takes the top spot. I can spend hours and hours working — cultivating sources, investigating stories and making sure that my news product is as complete and thorough as it can be. It’s not uncommon for me to work 13-, 14- or 15-hour days several days a week.

Outside of work, I’m extremely passionate as a volunteer for the American Cancer Society. I currently serve on a division-wide advisory team, which means I spend many hours on conference calls, developing content for training sessions, visiting Relay For Life events across two states and helping volunteers on a local level. Add to that my own local interests of helping to organize fundraisers and other events, and it is obvious to see I live a very full life.

Somewhere in there, I enjoy being social with my friends — another passion. If I go more than three or four days without physically seeing a friend (that’s not connected to work or volunteering), I get pretty antsy. I need that social interaction as sort of an escape from work and volunteering.

But, of the passions I have in life, having a monogamous relationship is not one of them. I’m an open, care free kind of guy who enjoys being around lots of people.

The thought of focusing my energy on one person in one situation just doesn’t seem enjoyable.

I’m not taking away anybody’s passion for finding a soul mate, getting married and raising a family. Many friends have begun that process within the last five or so years.

For the most part, they’re happy with the path they’ve taken in life. They love their spouse and their kids and their dog and white picket fence.

Am I afraid of a relationship? Absolutely not. I’m sure it’d be fun.

Will it bother me if that never happens? I can’t say for certain no, but I’m willing to bet I won’t be devastated (My mother on the other hand … totally different story).

And, here’s why I won’t be broken if I never march down the same path so many others before have:

As care free as I am, not one decision is made without a lot of thought. I’ve always been one to take a good, hard, long look at my life, and truly think about how every action has a reaction, and how one tiny decision can create a domino effect for life.

My friends have allowed me to see that situations that arise in relationships — both good and bad — just don’t seem to interest me.

Seeing friends hurt over being cheated on, or seeing friends anxiously awaiting results of a pregnancy test and talking to friends who are in train-wreck relationships just doesn’t seem like a fun time for me.

Seeing friends exuberant over the birth of a child and being able to stand near two friends as they exchange vows are very exciting and emotional times, however.

When two good friends of mine married, I did everything I could to hold back tears standing there as the groom’s best man. I was more than happy for them and their love, having been alongside their six-plus-year journey that led them to the altar.

When another good friend of mine had a baby with his fiance, I, again, was elated for their new journey.

While I was extremely excited for my friends in those two situations, not once did I think, “Gee, I wish this was me.”

I had no problem walking out of the church or handing the baby over and being on my own, able to do whatever I wanted.

I don’t begrudge anybody for entering into a relationship provided it’s for the right reasons. But, it feels as though single folks are pressured into always having to be in a relationship or making an excuse for why they’re not.

Media, family tradition and comfort expect us to believe that marriage and children are part of life’s path. But, not everybody is meant to take the same path.

I’m single and happy.

Really, there’s nothing wrong with that.

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Can't get enough of our awesome weekly columnist, Bobby Cherry? Keep up with Bobby on his website www.gobobbo.com!

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