Two Day Magazine

Where's the mystery?

A new study reveals that women find the men who like them least the most attractive. I’m not kidding.

As I read the post and the ABC News story linked to it, I couldn’t help but remember being chased by a girl in high school whom I wanted little to do with. She was determined to make me hers. We had gone on a few dates, went to a couple dances together, but, to me, we were nothing more than friends. To her, we were an item. She even told people we were together!

This lasted for several years and rekindled again just a few years ago before she (apparently) realized there was no future for “us” and found herself a man to marry (poor guy). She’d obsess over who I was hanging out with, where I was going and when I’d be home.

When I moved to college, her obsessions became worse as I’d constantly have texts, e-mails and instant messages from her — asking about class, friends, activities, etc. If I didn’t reply quickly enough for her liking, she’d send more messages and call even more.

Consider Francesca, the 30-something woman ABC News interviewed for their story on the study.

“I obsess,” she said to ABC. “I’ll look to see where someone checked in on [the social network site] Foursquare to find a justification for their silence.”

OK, we’ve all been there. You check Foursquare to see why somebody maybe didn’t return your call or text. I’ve done it. Maybe they’re at dinner with their parents or at work, or worse yet, they checked into the hospital! I get that — to an extent.

But, when a guy looks at his phone to see eight texts, four e-mails and seven comments on his Foursquare check in at the gas station, he’s going to think you’re crazy.

I considered calling my friend and I a couple. But, the last thing I wanted to do was allow her to get any closer. Besides, I was in college and trying to start a new life outside of the town I grew up in. I was making friends and having fun, and I didn’t need to be hampered down by a high school stalker.

But she tried.

Thankfully, Facebook wasn’t part of our daily routine at the time, otherwise, things would have been really interesting.

I’m certainly no heartthrob. Women aren’t mobbing me as I pass them on the street. People aren’t buying posters with my six-pack abs and sexy dimples. So, not surprisingly, I found the obsession she had with me a bit awkward.

Time and again, I explained to her that we were just friends.

It probably didn’t help that, while this was going on,I was in love with another high school friend. That ended up going nowhere, which fueled the fire of my other friend.

Despite using Facebook to conduct the obsession study, it’s apparently pretty accurate as even one of the researchers, Erin Whitchurch, agreed.

"I hate it," she said to ABC News. "Obviously, I know the research. But it's still one of those things. And it's annoying."

It’s just plain weird to think that women obsess over men the way this study suggests.

Francesca, our 30-something single obsess-ee, apparently panics when her messages go unanswered.

"He would go five days without responding to an email or a text," she said to ABC. "I felt it lowered my expectations of what the level of communications should be.”

If somebody goes five days without saying a word to you via any form of communication, there’s something else wrong.

We all obsess over weird things with somebody we’re potentially interested in. But, if you’re not able to keep it under wraps, it might be best to turn off the computer and phone for a bit. Or find some other distraction.

Besides, do you really think you’re going to land a guy after you’ve Facebook-ed, Foursquare-d and Twitter-ed him to death?

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Can't get enough of our new weekly columnist, Bobby Cherry? Keep up with Bobby on his website www.gobobbo.com!