Two Day Magazine

One in Ten Women Fake Their Orgasms!

According to a poll of 3,000 British women on www.dailymail.co.uk, 48% said they couldn’t make it, so they faked it between the sheets. An astounding 9% stated that they faked it EVERY TIME.  7% admitted to ending a relationship because they weren’t satisfied with their sex life, but only one in ten actually told the truth to their soon-to-be ex.

To make matters worse, 16% claim to be disappointed about the lack of foreplay, one in five were really unhappy with their sex life in general, and 11% said their partner crossed the finish line way too early. One in five admitted to fantasizing about another man in bed to help them reach climax, with a male friend or famous actor as their most popular fantasies.

Now, I know this is turning into the most depressing article ever, but men, you should cover your eyes as I continue. The 38% of women also stated that their partner couldn’t tell the difference between a real and a fake orgasm.

So, now that I know I won’t be booking a ticket to London any time soon, let’s try to decipher what’s really going on here. Because, as we all know, women aren’t so different across the pond, now are they?

Instead of communicating to their partner about why they aren’t having fun between the sheets, more than 25% said they were too embarrassed to bring it up or couldn’t be bothered! Um, really? You’re too bothered to have a fulfilling sex life?

Let’s break this down so the men reading this over your shoulder stop shaking and looking at you suspiciously.

Communication is the KEY to a happy sex life.
       
I know you are rolling your eyes at this, because, this is how every advice column starts when talking about life long happiness with your lover, blah, blah, blah. But, guess what? There is truth to this broken record. Ladies, if your partner doesn’t know that you are faking it, or if you just lay there and not express what you want, then maybe you aren’t ready to have sex. I got a really great piece of advice from a friend of my mom’s when I was 17 when we were talking about sex and relationships, and she said to me,

“Natalie, if you aren’t ready to tell someone what you want from them in bed, then you aren’t ready to have sex.”
    
I thought that was awesome advice then, and I still do now. If you don’t know what you want, how the hell can you enjoy yourself with your partner? Which leads me to my second point....

Masturbation is the FIRST step to AMAZING sex.
    
Stop blushing. No, seriously. If you don’t masturbate, you are really setting yourself up for failure in the bedroom. How can your partner know what you like if you can’t explain it to them? If you don’t know what feels good, then no wonder no one else can pleasure you.

There is nothing dirty, shameful, or wrong about self exploration. It is totally healthy, totally normal, and anyone who says they don’t do it is either a liar or afraid of the joy that lies below. Either way, not a good person to take advice from! So, head to the bedroom, light some candles, and get down with yourself! Well, finish reading this first, then go for it!

STOP faking it!

When you do make it to the bedroom for a little romp between the sheets, the worst thing you could do is pretend to enjoy yourself. Women have lots of different reasons for not being able to climax.

Whether it be outside stress, body issues, or fears that you won’t be good enough in bed, we all feel these from time to time. The important thing to remember is that sex is all about joy. It can be the most magical and wondrous experience between two people and the sooner you start changing your idea of what it is, the easier it will be to come.
  
If you are worried you won’t be “good” enough in bed, please see #2 above. The more you learn to embrace your own self, your own sexuality, you will feel an empowerment that you have never experienced. Knowing how to make yourself feel good will only lend yourself to being more confident, and in turn, much better in bed.
   
And, if you struggle with body issues, trust me, low lighting is the best. Lighting a few candles in a dark room makes any woman’s skin glow!
   
Stresses from the outside world are the perfect reason to HAVE sex. Orgasms release the make-me-happy chemicals in the brain and also relax the body. Instead of indulging in high-fat foods to ease your stresses, try indulging in fat-burning sex, instead!
   
The more you fake orgasms, the less inclined you will be to actually want to have one. You will get frustrated and miss out on all the fun. It’s a no-win situation. Your partner won’t know the difference, because female orgasms are nearly as, um, obvious as male ones.

This one is for the MEN: Porn is not a good indicator of what REAL women want!
    
Guys, if you think that porn is how real life sex is, I ask you to put down the remote and lube, and go out into the real light of day.

Oh, that’s right, I am laying it out for you.

We need foreplay. I don’t mean kiss and then stick it in. I mean real foreplay. Women need to feel that we are a part of the sexual experience and not just another substitute for your hand. We want to be worshipped by you in bed. Lots of kissing, touching, licking, playing....you get the idea. A woman needs to be warmed up to the idea of intercourse. The warmer she is, the easier it will go, and the better it will feel. For you both!

I hope these tips help at least one woman (and man) out there realize that they aren’t alone, but instead of denying themselves and their potential partners a lot of fun, they should just relax, take a deep breath, and be honest about what you want. People aren’t mind readers.

You want the Big “O”? You just have to ask for it!