Two Day Magazine

Little white lies can still cause big trouble...

“I workout six days a week, eat fresh and organic food, love a good book and enjoy long walks on the beach.”

If you believe this, let’s spend a romantic weekend this summer at my oceanfront beach house in Kentucky.

It seems our approach to marketing ourselves in the dating world has taken a page from the corporate world of public relations — accentuate even the tiniest of details (and if it means lying, go for it). We tell the truth to an extent. Then, we fib just enough to sound like the world’s most amazing person — all to wrangle in a hot date.

Meanwhile, I park in the back of the lot at the mall, stroll through town for lunch and take a walk around the neighborhood when it’s nice out. That sounds like some possible sweat-inducing activities. Fresh food? It’s fresh from the microwave! Organic? Does water count? And, I had to read the manual for the microwave the other day. Hey, it was a good book!

Stretching the truth might be okay if your mother can’t cook but you compliment her food just to keep the peace, or you don’t want to argue after being asked, “Does this make me look fat,” but telling these lies on a dating profile or actually on a date are extremely risky.

Yet, we’ve all done it.

I was reading an advice column recently where a guy asked how he could back out of a lie he didn’t really tell. On a date, the woman he was with assumed that since he worked for a law firm, he was a lawyer. He never corrected her. They had gone out a few times, but he apparently wanted to come clean about what he actually does at the law firm. The advice columnist suggested he tell the truth.

To impress a date once, a friend of mine thought it would be good to tell her he owned a BMW. Before the date, she asked if he’d pick her up. He frantically came up with a lie to cover not being able to pick her up in the luxury car. His lie? His fancy car was in the shop and he was forced to use a roommate’s not-so-luxurious vehicle.

The date went well, and the two became friends on Facebook — at least for a few days. Turns out, he had a nice gallery of photos showing the brand new truck he purchased a few months prior. She quickly put the brakes on that relationship all because he didn’t tell the truth.

That might be somewhat of an extreme situation, but what about little white lies? A friend said he told a now-ex-girlfriend that he enjoyed biking after she explained her interest in the outdoor sport. He isn’t a bicyclist, and they never actually went biking. His reason for lying was simple — “conversation.” So he lied just to have something to chat about with her, despite him not knowing anything more about biking than to push the pedals and wear a helmet.

Maybe it’s the news reporter in me, but I remember almost every detail somebody tells me — especially the very interesting points. So if I’m talking with someone and they explain something that sounds just too good to be true, I’ll question them until I get the truth.

This sounds very Mister Rogers-ish, but whatever happened to being honest about yourself and having somebody want to be with you for just you being you? I don’t want to fall in love with what somebody has built themselves up to be. I want to know that the person I’m with is being honest about their life. Honesty isn’t just the best policy, it’s also attractive. There’s nothing I appreciate more than somebody who is down-to-earth honest about their life. If you can be honest about your life and your surroundings, then please move to the front of the line.

If you’re honest about yourself, then you’re happy with your life. And, we all have at least something positive in our life to talk about — a job, an animal, kids, family, a hobby.

Being honest doesn’t mean explaining every last uncomfortable detail or being negative about your life, but it means not having to prove yourself to your mate.

There’s certainly nothing wrong fluffing up your romantic resume some, but it’s not sexy to lie.

*************************************

Can't get enough of our new weekly columnist, Pittsburgh journalist, Bobby Cherry? Keep up with Bobby on his website www.gobobbo.com!