Two Day Magazine

Will Your Summer Romance Last Through the Winter?

A couple of months ago, I was on the Fox News Strategy Room Show: The Variety Hour. We discussed summer flings and the possibility of a fling turning into a full-blown relationship. Now that it is the end of summer, it seems fitting to see whether your summer romance will last through the long winter months.

Hooking up has become the new version of dating. People seem to jump from bed to bed quicker than you can say, “What’s your name again?”

But, what happens when you can’t stop thinking about them, the way they smell, the way they look, the way they laugh. What do you do when you want to take your casual encounter to the next level?

First of all, you need to decipher whether the other person involved has any interest in taking things more seriously. Look for these subtle signs and see if your casual summer lust-fest can translate into a long term relationship:

-You See Each Other OUTSIDE The Bedroom.

    Sure, at first it was all about the sex. You couldn’t get enough of one another. Whether you met at a bar, on the beach, or at a party, the sexual energy was undeniable. You both thought this would just be a sexual relationship, but now you are starting to feel as though things are moving in a different direction. Ask your potential partner out on a real date. Go outside of the bedroom. If they seem intrigued by this notion, then they may be in the right headspace for a relationship. However, if they give you a funny look or assume you mean having sex outdoors, they may not be as open to a real relationship as one may think.

-Getting to Know One Another.

    Even though you have been sleeping together for the past few weeks or months, you may be surprised how little you know about the other person sharing your bed. What is their last name, for example? Do you know their favorite film or what they do for a living? Many times when people are in a sexual relationship, they are not interested in turning their desired into a real person.
    So, the next time you have a roll in the sheets, try talking after. (If you can keep them in the room long enough.) What is their response? Do they want to talk about themselves? Are they asking you questions in return or are they just giving you “yes” or “no” answers? Depending on how engaged they are in opening up will tell if they are interested in more than just sex or if they just want to grab their clothes and go.

-Location, location, location.

    Maybe you met your fling on an airplane. Maybe you met them at a hotel bar. It’s exciting to anticipate meeting your fling downtown for a drink and hot sex. But, chances are, if you only have seen them a few times in the past couple of months, or know that they have a whole other life in another city or state, you may be setting yourself up for major disappointment. Your best bet in this situation is to pull back slowly, unless you feel as though they may be interested in relocating for love. Ask them if they would ever move for a lover. If the answer is a flat, “No way”, then you know the likelihood of them picking up their life and moving for you is a slim possibility. However, if they seem open to the idea of a new city, or a new change of pace, mention the fact that you are really enjoying their company and would like to see where things could go.

-Just Be Honest.

    Being on the same page in the beginning was easy. You both were in the lust phase and everything was fine. But, falling for someone who assumes that you are just looking for sex like they are can really muddy the waters and confuse everyone involved. By looking for those subtle cues and preparing for the worst but hoping for the best, you have a good chance of getting what you need. The truth.
    Sometimes, the quickest route is the most direct. Whether you get the answer you are looking for or feel like you were just punched in the stomach, knowing the truth will set you free. If your fling says that they feel strongly for you, as well, then you are ready to pursue this relationship and possibly take it to the next level. Yet, if they laugh in your face or look puzzled, just tell them you needed to know for your own sanity.

If this fling doesn’t turn out to be the real thing, at least you know before you got too emotionally attached and can move on to find what you are looking for. But, if your fling feels the same way you do (and maybe was too afraid to take a chance and tell you) feel proud in knowing that taking a risk paid off. Nothing ventured, nothing gained!