Don’t Dismiss a Long Distance Relationship

Yes, It CAN Work!

Think being away for long periods of time from the one you love won’t help your relationship to grow? Do you fear that if you’re not near the one you love, you will “love the one you're near” and so will your far, far away partner? Are you thinking that the bi-coastal relationship you’re contemplating is crazy and so is anyone who enters into one?

Surprise! Research has shown that a being apart for long stretches of time can not only work, but may actually be healthy and good for you. Here are just a few reasons why it works:

The positive aspects of having to answer only to yourself when your partner is away, empowers you. You make the decisions according to what's good for you.

The time and effort you expend on yourself, brings personal satisfaction. Careers thrive when you have more time to spend on achieving goals. There is nothing else to occupy your mind romantically or sexually. Nothing gets in the way!

The idea that you alone are principally in charge of your days and nights, uplifts your mental health in self sufficiency. This makes you appreciate your strengths and enables you to grow.

There are other benefits as well. Sociologists say that the anticipation of seeing each other after being apart for long periods of time takes on a vacation-like quality and that includes sex.

We grow up with relationship myths, one of which is the idea that two people in love always have the need to be in reasonable physical proximity with each other. But for many couples, living apart is a healthy benefit to their relationships. It is especially good for those building a career where travel or living in a specific area will enhance their work and their chances for advancement. You can concentrate on what is necessary to you at that time in your life.

There are other issues to consider about being apart. If you have a goal that will take most of your waking hours, if you work well into the night, or if you have the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to achieve a dream, the benefit of working without distraction is priceless. Single-minded devotion to a project that will reap rewards either financially or personally is not a bad thing. A person happy with what they are doing in life, even if only for short periods of time, is a better partner in any relationship.

Phone calls (a nice flashback to a tech-less era because, yes, you do want to hear each other's voices), texts, SKYPE, computer “dates,” and sext-ing are all regular contacts that keep the relationship strong and loving. And as far as infidelity is concerned, the sociological data proves that men and women in a committed long-distance relationship are no more apt to be unfaithful than partners who see each other every night. In fact, statistics show that there is an even lower percentage of cheating for couples involved in this type of relationship. The partners have a strong sense of comfortable commitment to each other and are involved in career-driven issues that take precedence in their lives. Cheating is rare.

Like more traditional relationships, a bi-coastal relationship can have it’s problems and is not for every couple. You need to be upfront and extremely blunt with your partner about your feelings. If you feel strongly that it is not the type of relationship you want, then say so at the very beginning. But, if you see it as an agreeable and acceptable part of your relationship, it can be a healthy, beneficial lifestyle for you both. In other words, if it is good for you, go for it!

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Two Day Magazine

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