Two Day Magazine

...Set the Mood for Romance, Not Disaster

Aw, yes, the first date. Some end with a promise of a second date, some end awkwardly, and some end before dessert. Romance is fickle and while things can seem to be going well, at first, all it takes is someone bringing up the wrong topic and the whole date falls apart. So, here are the topics to avoid if you are ever hoping to see this person again.

The Ex-File

This has happened to me on first dates. There you are, enjoying your appetizer, having a laugh, and all of the sudden, you get hit with the question: “So, when was your last relationship?”

No one wants to discuss their exes or their past relationships on a first date. This is a wildly inappropriate question. First dates should be light and fun. You are trying to see what the other person’s likes and dislikes are, if they laugh at your bad jokes, and how they handle social situations. Whenever someone asks me about my past relationships on a first date, I automatically assume that they are fishing for information, trying to figure out if I was dumped or did the dumping, and wondering exactly how many notches I have on my belt.

Call me crazy, but this topic only hashes up the intensity of the last relationship that you are wanting to move away from. Digging up all of those old feelings is only going to create tension, and no one wants tension on a first date, unless it is sexual!

Health Issues

I am not trying to sound cold or heartless. I understand people have health issues and it isn’t something to take lightly. Which is exactly why you shouldn’t bring it up on a first date. No one wants to hear about your weird ingrown toe nail or that your cousin just recovered from a appendicitis, as this tends to drag the mood.

Eventually, it is fine to talk about personal struggles and health conditions, but on a first date, there should be a sense of carefree joy and giddiness. You can’t be giddy when you are talking about irritable bowel syndrome. It certainly doesn’t up the sexy points, either.

Taking a Trip to Complainville

Ever been on a first date where it seems as if your date has nothing nice to say at all? Complaining about the weather, complaining about their job, complaining about their meal. Whatever the situation, someone who is constantly bringing the mood down need not be called up for a second date. I have been on first dates with people that just couldn’t seem to find pleasure in anything. Something was always annoying them, they never turned that frown upside down, and really, who wants to get into bed with a grumbler, anyway?

So, ladies and gents, when you are on a first date, keep it happy, keep it upbeat, keep the conversation fun. It will enhance the experience for both of you and reinforce the positive energy flow between you!

It’s All About the Benjamins

Yuck, if there is one topic to avoid on a first date, it’s money! That’s right. Whether you boast about how much money you love spending, or love to complain about how much money everything costs, neither are sexy first date behaviors.

No one is interested in listening to you talk about your bloated lifestyle all night (especially if your date isn’t in the same tax bracket, and considering these tough economic times, it’s just in bad taste) and no one wants to hear you discuss how much to tip the waiter, if you should tip the waiter, or other things to indicate how cheap you are. Major turn-off!

Workaholics Anonymous is Looking for You!

Nothing kills a mood more than discussing the stress at work, discussing your disdain for your colleagues, how much smarter you are than them, why you think you should get a raise, and what a jerk your boss is. The truth is, I don’t care. There. I said it. Call me crazy, but the last thing I want to talk about on a first date is your job. Or my job.

I don’t want to see you playing on your smart phone all night, either, or taking a call in the middle of our conversation because your boss is on the line. If you can’t pry yourself away long enough to learn about your potential lover because work is breathing down your neck, then maybe you should just take a sleeping bag to work so you don’t ever have to be away from your beloved cubicle.

Politics

You’re red, he’s blue. Opposites, attract, right? Not on a first date. On a first date, it is better to find out what it is that unites you, rather than divides you. Yes, politics can be a fun conversation to bring up at first, but things can get heated quickly, especially over hot button topics (and there are plenty of those to choose from in today’s world!) so if I were you, I would leave the soap-box speech for another time.

Plus, politics can be rather depressing and dark. Unless you really want to sit and talk about the plights of the world all night, which will only divert you both from getting to know one another on a more personal level, I recommend leaving that to the talking heads of the world (at least for tonight).

So, now you are probably wondering, “What the hell is there left to talk about?”

Well, fear not! Tomorrow, I will divulge great first date topics to keep the energy upbeat and keep the conversation flowing! Remember, first dates are all about fun!