Two Day Magazine

Vacations are supposed to be relaxing, aren't they?

“You’re going on vacation with Jenn's parents?! Good luck. Spending two vacations with  my ex-girlfriend's parents is a major reason we broke up.”

As we waited in line for movie tickets, I was the unintentional eavesdropper to someone’s cell phone conversation. He was describing vacations from hell that he and his ex had apparently taken with her parents. Money and lack of privacy, it seemed, had been big issues.

Listening to what he was saying, I had to admit to myself that going on vacation with future potential in-laws can put a huge strain on a budding relationship. Having been there myself I knew exactly how he felt. Vacations are supposed to be fun and relaxing, not battlegrounds.
 
We look forward to vacations. A tremendous amount of planning goes into where we’re going, how long we’ll be staying, what we’re going to bring, and what we want to do. It is enough to worry about yourself and your partner without worrying about anyone else.

The additional hassle of having an someone's parents along for the ride can create more tension and hostilities than at almost any other time in your relationship. This is especially true if you already have a less than perfect relationship with them. It is a lucky couple who gets along so well with each other's that sharing vacation time with them is a welcome experience.

Can his or her parents really be included in a  vacation without causing someone to run screaming for the hills?? Anything is possible and with a little foresight you might actually be able to make vacation time a pleasant experience for everyone.

There are, however, some rules to follow.

Rule number one is simple, but crucial: Never, ever, (let me repeat that) EVER share a room or suite with anyone other than each other.

Avoid hotel specials offering pull out couches or interconnected rooms no matter how financially tempting they may seem. The money you will save does not in any way make up for the lack of privacy you’ll be getting. It is a recipe for disaster.

If you rent a house together, there should be enough bedrooms to help maintain your privacy. The only room where you might face a problem is in the kitchen. In this case, scheduling who cooks what, and when, is an absolute must. I personally favor going out to eat. Saves time, stress, and who wants to cook on a vacation, anyway?

Rule number two: You do not have to spend every single vacation minute together. Make it clear that there are things you two want to do alone and then go ahead and do them. This is your vacation; enjoy it. You don't owe it to anyone to be together the entire trip. If you enjoy their company for certain activities, fine but make sure to carve out some personal alone time.

Nothing causes more arguments than money, before, during, and after a vacation. This is where the last rule comes in.

Rule number three: Be very specific about any shared costs that are part of the vacation. You can avoid getting into a “who owes what” hassle by being upfront about money issues before you even leave for the trip. Everyone should pay their share ahead of time. If you decide to dine out together even once during this vacation, let it be known that the bill is split equally, no haggling on any side.

A vacation with someone's parents can be a horrible experience or may be pleasantly surprising. It all depends on the planning and, of course, the people. Plan well, be honest and upfront, and be polite at all times. Then, be yourself and go and have fun.

Good luck!

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© 2011 Copyright Kristen Houghton

Kristen Houghton is a well-respected Lifestyle journalist who writes for many media outlets, including The Huffington Post, More Magazine and OWN.

She is also the author of the top-selling book, And Then I'll Be Happy! Stop Sabotaging Your Happiness and Put Your Own Life First