Two Day Magazine

Princess for a day? At whose expense?

It’s safe to say, most weddings you’ve attended or will attend won’t be as lavish as next week’s royal wedding, where some estimates claim the price tag for Prince William and Catherine Middleton tying the knot could be as high as $64 million.

For one day.

While I doubt anybody reading this has been to a wedding with that price tag, we all know of somebody whose wedding day was fit for the television show, “Bridezilla.”

I’ve only been in one wedding in my lifetime. I was the best man in a rather simple affair. So simple, in fact, that I was instructed to not even throw a bachelor party. My cost of attending the wedding included the tux rental, airfare, hotel and gift. Still, more than I had planned, but inexpensive comparatively speaking.

So, I’ve never really seen first-hand what all goes into the wedding day. That is, until a friend of mine explained to me recently that she had been asked to be a bridesmaid. For the September shin-dig, my friend already is expected to shell out about $400 — that includes the dress and shoes, which apparently had to be specially dyed for their one-and-done appearance.

If the dress needs alterations, that’s another $100. I didn’t even get to hear how much hair and make up and jewelry would cost, but I suspect it wasn’t going to be cheap.

Add to these costs the price of hotel; travel expenses; lunch/dinner events to get to know the women of the bridal party; gifts for the countless bridal showers, bachelorette party and wedding, and we’re talking a whole heck of a lot of money. A rough estimate set back my friend about $1,000 — just to stand on stage while her friend got hitched.

Ladies, that’s absurd. All of that money could be better spent on a variety of things.

But it seems — thanks to media influences — that many women have this fairytale dream of their wedding. It begins somewhere around the first time they hear the story of Cinderella.

By age 10, they’ve planned their wedding’s colors, floral arrangements, shoes, songs, ceremony, first dance, last dance, bubble machines, photographer, seating arrangements. They’ve planned everything but the most important part — the rest of their life.

It seems the magic of a wedding stops when the last dance ends. There’s too much focus on the actual wedding event than on the marriage and the couple’s future. In some cases, the groom should just wait to show up until he has to say, “I do.”

Popular wedding website, TheKnot, estimates that some bridesmaid dresses could run as much as $1,400. Yes, a dress you’ll wear once to stand next to somebody else getting married could be as much as $1,400. The site also gives pointers for all of the unnecessary additions — bachelorette party, etc. — and offers several frequently asked question sections for everybody involved.

All of these parties, events and costs really help to promote that “bridezilla” thought.

And we all have a friend or a few who have complained about the bride from hell. You know — the one who expects every last detail to be spot on and just the way she dreamed it would be (back when she was 8 years old).

My friend, for instance, was asked via text message to be a bridesmaid. It’s supposed to be this bride’s biggest day and she asks her friend (whom she hasn’t seen in two years) via a text message to be in the bridal party. Then, when rumblings start about the cost of the dress, the bride-to-be sends out a selfish e-mail explaining how it’s her day and these are the items she has chosen.

I just don’t get the need to have people spend so much money to be part of a one-day event. Why — especially when most people don’t have the extra cash — would someone expect their friends to dish out hundreds (or thousands) of dollars to mimic a fairytale dream?

It’s an important day, I get that. But, the rest of that couple’s married life is just as (if not more) important than their wedding day. Pictures, a nice cake, good dinner, some cookies and colors that match are enough.

When I asked my friends on Facebook and Twitter to tell me how much it cost them to be part of a bridal party, I received plenty of messages — mostly from disgruntled bridesmaids who shelled out a fortune to be part of a day they’d sooner forget.

One Facebook friend detailed the money she already has spent for an upcoming wedding — nearly $500 for a dress, shoes and hair and make up, plus $100 for alterations. She didn’t even tally up the cost for gifts and the flower girl dress for her daughter.

She said something that made me think about these situations: “It’s awful and I cringe when I am asked, (but) how do you say no?”

Why would anybody put their friends through hell just to act like a princess for one day? But how do you say no? Is a few months of aggravation to be part of a fairytale dream worth it?

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twodaymag wants to know: Have you ever known a Bridezilla or been asked to be involved in a wedding that you really didn’t want to be a part of? Share your stories, twoday!

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