Two Day Magazine

...Because Staying Home Will Only Make You Obsess...

We have all been there. We have all had our hearts broken so badly that our heads ache from crying, that our stomachs hurt, that our lives feel over. How can one imagine themselves without their former lover? We get so caught up in the other person that we forget to take care of our own needs, sometimes, and so, when devastated by our lover leaving us, it is easy to think, “What now?” Instead of sitting around and thinking about what you could have done, should have done, or would have done, here are 5 things to do to help get your mind off your lover and on to something positive, productive, and just for you.

Go Out to a Music Concert.

Music can be very therapeutic. We all have songs that create moods and feelings. We all have songs that we know by heart, that bring us joy. Go to a symphony, listen to something beautiful and soothing. Go to an outdoor concert with friends, sit in the grass, let the music envelope you and take you away for a bit. Distractions can be helpful when you are going through a traumatic time, as they take your mind off of your obsession (being thoughts of your lover) and allow you to just be. But, don’t-I repeat don’t-go to a concert that contains music that you both loved as a couple. This is for you. Listen to something that you like and that has nothing to do with the other person.

Go to a Yoga Class.

There is no better place to concentrate and meditate on what you want from your life than being in yoga. I recommend Bikram, because they have the room set at 105 degrees. Trust me, you can’t think of anything else besides how hot you are, so this really clears your head! Not only that, it is a great place to meet new friends, it is great for your health, and yoga really helps calm nerves and releases stress. Go on, even if you have never touched your toes in your life, there is no better time to start living well than the present!

Take a Class on Something You Always Wanted to Try.

Now that you are single, you have a lot more time to focus on your needs and wants. Have you ever wanted to learn Italian? Take a local beginner’s class at a college or with a tutor. Have a desire to become a better cook? Cooking classes are always a great way to meet new friends and to brush up on some kitchen skills! Try rock climbing, painting, dancing, or acting. All of these classes can help improve your self-esteem, which can sometimes be damaged when you are going through a traumatic break-up.

Volunteer.

Being in a relationship can be great, but often times, your focus is so inward at you and the other person, it is easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, find a way to uplift yourself by helping others around you.  Volunteer at a hospital, work with children, take care of the elderly, join an environmental group or get into politics. All of these different organizations can teach you more about yourself than you ever realized and can really help your self-esteem as you move forward without your lover.

Take a Trip.

No matter what your budget or work schedule, there is always a way to escape for a long weekend or a full week. Ask a few friends to come along, pile into the car, and drive  somewhere that you always wanted to go but never had the time to when you were in a relationship. Go to the beach, go to the mountains and hike, go to a resort, go visit a friend from out of town. Do whatever you want. Just get out of your home for a bit and change your surroundings. Distancing yourself for a little while physically will help you clear your head and distract you from your pain.

Whatever you do to ease your broken heart, just remember. Time does heal. While you may not feel better in a weeks or even months, just trust your heart. The reason you feel so sad is because you know such joy. The bad moments will pass and you will find happiness in life again, you will be moved to laughter again, and there are better, brighter days ahead. Know that you are enough and move into your future with hope and acceptance. When you let go of the pain, peace and love will flood your heart again.