Two Day Magazine

How Friendships Can Make You a Better Lover

Having friends is a key component to a balanced, healthy and happy life, but why is it that the minute a friend gets into a relationship, it’s as though all of their friendships get put on hold? You call, they don’t pick up. You text, it takes them days to respond. Before you know it, you can’t even remember the last time you hung out. In our society, romantic relationships are pushed on us constantly, but do we ever stop to think of how valuable it is to have friends in our lives?

Nurturing our friendships can actually make us better partners in our romantic relationships, as well. By practicing our communication skills, our listening skills and engaging socially, we become better people, better companions, and of course, better lovers. Here are some fascinating ways that valuing your friendships will boost your ability to have long-term happiness with your main squeeze.

Friends Encourage One Another to Live Their Best Lives:

Whether you are trying to achieve a fitness goal, a job promotion, or balance responsibilities at home, having a friend on your side can increase your chances for making dreams a reality. When your friend is there to support you in any of your endeavors (no matter how big or small), this energy leads to one feeling more confident, more secure in themselves and more optimistic about their future. Who wouldn’t want to date someone who is progressing in a positive way in their life?

Friends Offer Emotional Support in Tough Times:

Lovers may come and go, but true friendships last a lifetime. If your partner leaves, who is there to pick up the pieces? Often times, it is our tight-knit circle of friends who listen as we vent our frustrations, offer us a shoulder to cry on, or remind us of all the good things we have still in our lives. Support doesn’t have to mean having all the answers. Being a good friend often times just requires a presence and an offer of sympathy. If it weren’t for our friends encouraging us to get on with our lives, we may never turn the page and look forward to new romances and new adventures.

Friends Boost Your Immune System and Help Manage Stress:

Being social with the ones who make us laugh can lead to an increase in positive emotion which in turn may boost our immune systems. Building a strong network of friends reduces physical signs of stress, according to many health experts. When one isolates themselves from their friends, they often experience feelings of discomfort, illness or depression.

“Friends, if supportive and encouraging, can increase our hope when dealing with illness or trauma. And increased hope is associated with higher levels of immune system functioning,” states Dr. Gerald Ellison, Ph.D., director of Psychoneuroimmunology Services at Cancer Treatment Centers of America in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

 By being healthy, both physically and mentally, with the support of one’s friends, will only help when picking a partner that complements you and the positive place that you are in.

Friends Can Give a Different Perspective on Love:

Has this ever happened to you? You just start dating someone new and you are head over heels for them, but your family isn’t thrilled with your new love, so you decide to introduce your new partner to your friends. Their response is lukewarm at best.

Sometimes, our sexual attraction to someone or our irrational fear of being alone can lead us to make bad decisions when it comes to choosing a mate. Our friends are often the voice of reason, and more often than not, our friends are usually right. What you may see as “a passionate side” they may see as a red-hot temper that’s easily set off. While you may believe that your new partner is an expert on all things, they may feel your partner is controlling and manipulative.  Having a differing perspective can often times cause conflict in friendships, but take a hard look at why they are worried. They have your best interest at heart, so take heed of their concerns.

While romantic relationships are something we most of us strive for and desire, creating positive relationships without a sexual component is just as important. In life, we are lucky if there are a few people on speed dial to talk with, laugh with and support, so don’t neglect these vital relationships just because you have a lover.