Two Day Magazine

This week the Outsider celebrated his favorite holiday in which he got to express how grateful he is that he is not being sued for anything.

Unlike this week's headliners.

Celebrity Endorsed 'Power Balance Bracelet' Is Sued and Settles for $57 million.

Here is a bit of good news for the holidays if you don't like scam artists. Power Balance, the company behind those stylish little bracelets worn and endorsed by athletes like Drew Breese and Kobe Bryant that claim to give you superior balance and athletic ability using some sort of magic, is filing for bankrupcy because of a $57 million class action suit.

The Outsider won't bore you with the details, but essentially when asked to prove that their bracelets did anything, the company couldn't comply.

It turns out, Drew Breese's success has more likely come from a lifetime of getting up at 5 am, working out for several hours, eating a balanced diet and spending the rest of the day practicing and studying his craft. Not from wearing a kitchen magnet on his wrist.

Since it seems that most Americans’ eighth grade science teachers didn't teach them anything, allow the Outsider to drop some knowledge.

To realize how foolish these bracelets are, one only has to think about the effects magnets have on the human body. If something like a refrigerator magnet can make you more like Kobe Bryant, imagine what an MRI machine using a 1.5 Tesla rare earth magnet would do (1.5 million times more powerful than a refrigerator magnet).

Spoiler alert: it does nothing. Unless you have some metal in your body like screws or hip replacement, then it will make you less like Kobe Bryant and more like... Well let's just say it would really suck.

Bottom line, there is no such thing as a magic trinket that will make you a better athlete, but there are such things as people who will take your money for false promises. Don't trust something just because a celebrity is endorsing it.

The Biebster Takes The Outsider's Advice

Famous Canadian, Justin Bieber, has apparently taken your humble contributor's advice. Actually, it's more likely that he has no idea who your humble contributor is and was simply advised along the same lines.

Recently the Biebster has been accused of fathering a child with alleged crazy person, Mariah Yeater. Yeater filed a paternity suit against the Canadian and has apparently withdrawn it, hoping the whole matter could be settled out of court.

The Biebster has decided that was a bad idea and promptly went to a clinic and took the test. He has also promised to sue Yeater and her lawyer if he is found not to be the father.

Typically, the first sign of a celebrity shakedown is Gloria Allred, the second sign of a celebrity shake down is backing off the instant the celebrity appears to stand up for him/herself.

Mercifully in this case, we do not to have the first one, but have the second one in spades.

It also is now appearing that Yeater has admitted to her mother through text messages that the child's father is actually Yeater's ex boyfriend, which seems much more likely to the Outsider than a 15-minute fling with a 16-year-old pop star, but hey you never know.

Based on the Outsider's limited information, it looks like the Biebster is going to come out on top of this one, but it sounds like Yeater is a deeply disturbed woman who could probably benefit from some serious professional counseling.

All in all the Outsider's heart goes out to the little kid. By all accounts, it looks like regardless of the nature vs nurture debate, the poor kid is screwed.

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