Two Day Magazine

Welcome to yet another edition of the Hollywood Outsider!

This is twodaymag's weekly exploration of the relationships inside Tinsel Town written by a guy who might have driven through it once... He thinks.

This week the nation sat riveted as the Republican presidential candidates stood on a stage and insulted each other's job creating abilities ("Oh yeah, well you're so bad at creating jobs you can't even get people to work at your unemployment office! SNAP!"), while the actual President revealed his plan to get America working again that he has had for four weeks now but has kept it a secret for some reason.

Anyway, none of that matters but before we get to the real news, it's been a life-changing week so, unfortunately, you only get a mini-outsider this week before everything returns to full force next week.

Jon Gosselin's Life Advice for Ex-Wife, Kate.

Doubt she listens. She never listens, that was part of the problem!

It has come to the Outsider's attention that he has not ever done a story on Gosselin family which is truly remarkable because there could not be lower hanging fruit in the celebrity relationship garden. So, the streak ends today, folks, because the Gosselins are in the news again!

For the two of you who don't know, Jon and Kate Gosselin are a famous (former) couple who gained fame by flaunting their superhuman procreation skills. Jon and Kate had eight human children (one set of twins and one set of sextuplets) together which the Outsider guesses must be interesting to people as it earned them their own reality TV show, Jon And Kate Plus 8. It seems unlikely that the pair would be interesting without the children as their recent divorce showed that they were not even interested in each other.

After the divorce, Kate continued the hit TLC show by herself, renaming it Kate Plus 8, with Jon moving on to pursue other projects, like not being in a creepy, voyeuristic, dysfunctional reality show. But now it seems Kate has decided to leave the show as well (read: the network canceled the show) and she recently told People Magazine that she is "freaking out" because she now has no idea how to provide for the softball team she birthed.

Fear not, Kate. It seems Jon has some sage advice for the now unemployed single mother, "Reality TV is not a career. Get back to a normal life - a simple life."

This would be good advice, except The Simple Life has already been done by Paris Hilton who is frankly much more attractive than Ms. Gosselin and based on what the Outsider has seen, a better business woman, as well. It's kind of like the Pittsburgh Pirates vs. the Kansas City Royals. Somebody has to come out on top, right?

It is hard for the Outsider to imagine what Kate's long term plan actually was. Very few TV shows turn into a viable long-term careers and it's hard to imagine Kate Gosselin getting an endorsement deal for anything other than fertility drugs. Can you imagine her being a spokeswoman for a brand of birth control?

In the end, Jon Gosselin's advice to his ex-wife is actually pretty good. It is essentially the same advice the Outsider's father has been giving him for as long as he can remember, "Get a job."

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Next week, the Outsider will be back in full force...but until then, find John on Facebook and give him ideas for what Kate Gosselin can do now that her show is kaput.

And, have you found twoday magazine on Facebook, yet? Let’s continue this party there!