Two Day Magazine

Welcome to the Hollywood Outsider!

This is twodaymag's weekly look at the real issues of the day: celebrity gossip and goings on written by a guy who thinks "Hannah" is an actual town in Montana.

The Outsider apologizes for his absence last week, he came down with a sudden and life threatening case of the Day Job.

This week the nation prepares itself for the biggest football game of the year featuring two teams whose fan bases both have obnoxious accents, and the celebrity world prepares for its annual night of telling itself how great it is (commonly known as the Oscars).

With all that going on, how about we go over into the corner and discuss some headlines?

Nicki Minaj Music Video Banned From BET

Singer, songwriter and possible robot-from-the-future-sent-to-destroy-us-all, Nicki Minaj, released a music video for her new song "Stupid Hoe" which has since been banned from the always wholesome BET network for being “too raunchy.”

Now the Outsider has never heard the song, or even really knew who Nicki Minaj was until about 15 minutes ago, so he's not really qualified to comment... But he's going to anyway.

According to TMZ's report, the song contains the lyrics "stupid hoe" repeatedly and has many shots of scantily clad women in it, leading BET to ban the objectionable video.

Truthfully, it sounds a lot like a commercial idea the Outsider had for a lawn and garden store called "Stupid Hose" which had multiple shots of scantily clad women struggling with winding up and storing garden hoses.

Ultimately, the idea was shot down due to unfair singling out of one item. The Outsider knew he should have added "Shovel off" somewhere in the mix.

In all seriousness, the objectification of women by men has been going on in the rap and pop community forever. Minaj should be outraged. Is BET saying that she can't objectify women just because she's a woman?  The rap and pop community needs to be fair, it shouldn't matter what race, religion or gender you are; the right to objectify women should be granted to one and all equally.

Right?

NJ Town Bans Snooki Citing Quality Of Life Issues

The Mayor of Hoboken, NJ apparently has decided his state has taken enough crap from everybody for The Jersey Shore, and so he has denied a permit that would allow a new MTV reality show spinoff in the works staring Snooki and J-Woww to film in Hoboken.

For those who don’t know, a “Snooki” is a cross between a snuggie and a cookie, so it’s practical, keeps you warm, and if you’re a diabetic, it will wreak havoc on your blood sugar. One would assume a J-Woww is a type of excitable person. Hard to say really.

Regardless, the NJ Mayor has denied the filming permit citing “protecting public safety and quality of life concerns for Hoboken residents.”

This was a bold and prudent move on the part of the mayor. As much fun as reality show publicity is, Snooki has proven to be a Tasmanian Devil of chaos, leaving in her wake a path of destruction and Valtrex that scientists say could take years to recover from.

If the Outsider was to offer any advice it would be to move the show to a place that not only tolerates, but welcomes such stupidity. The first choice is obviously Chicago, but St. Louis takes a close second.

Donald Trump Accepts Imaginary Presidential Cabinet Position

Here’s one more fun piece of news for everybody. Should Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney win the Republican Nomination and go on to win the Presidency, and offer Donald Trump a cabinet position, the Donald would accept it.

Should this happen, it could be the most entertaining cabinet appointment since JFK made Marilyn Monroe undersecretary of the interior (BOOM!).

5 years ago the Outsider might have found the proposition of a reality TV host negotiating with China on our nation’s behalf somewhat concerning, but now given the state of things, he is starting to fee like everybody else: “Whatever, it’s not like he could make it any worse.”

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twoday magazine wants to know: Who needs banned most of all: Nicki, Snooki, or the Donald? Share your thoughts on our Facebook page.