Two Day Magazine

...But, Can We?

“Aren’t you afraid what people are going to think of you because of the articles you write?” My mom asked me this after she read my first article, “Modern Day Whore.”

I laughed. Why would I be afraid? My sexuality is a large part of who I am, so why would I try to repress it?

I grew up in a house where sex was something we never talked about. I mean never. I had to discover sexuality for myself. Growing up in a household where sex was taboo, it led to some very confusing times. I had to answer questions for myself, like if my “needs” were wrong and if being so sexual at a young age was a bad thing. I suppose writing became my outlet to find out those answers and now I share my experiences with you.

People are always surprised by my openness. They can’t believe that I would choose to write about my sex life and talk about sex so freely. I feel society lacks honesty when it comes to the topic of sex. We are afraid to talk about it because sometimes I feel we are afraid of our own sexuality. We blush when a steamy scene comes on during a movie, and giggle when we talk about sex with friends. But, when it comes to actually having sex, our attitudes change.

Here we are completely exposed in front of someone, and all those things we are afraid to talk about actually happen. Sure, there might be hiccups along the way, but we still do it. Maybe we aren’t completely comfortable with our bodies yet; maybe there are new techniques we’re not willing to try; maybe we aren’t into that “weird” stuff. But, we still have sex, whether it’s in a committed relationship or with someone we just picked up at a bar. Sex talk doesn’t have to be raunchy. It doesn’t have to be racy. It just needs to be honest.

We shouldn’t be ashamed to bring sex up in a conversation. We shouldn’t feel uncomfortable to talk about what we like about sex and what we don’t like. Our society is sexually repressed. That oppression can lead to unhealthy ways of trying to explore our sexuality, as it did for me early on. It also leads to misinformation projected out there about sex, as well as lack of education on sex. This only leads to unintended pregnancy and the unnecessary spread of STIs.

So, to put it bluntly, I’m not ashamed of my past, and because I’m not ashamed of it, I can talk about it. My sexuality is something that I have learned to be comfortable with, which has led to some pretty amazing sex and very enlightening conversations with friends who weren’t afraid to talk about it. Overall, people are refreshed by my openness.


“Finally,” someone wrote to me, “someone who isn’t afraid to talk about the things that I ask myself everyday.”

C’mon people.We all have sex. We can talk about it. Seriously.