Time to take off those rose-colored glasses...
What’s so wrong with accepting the cold, hard truth? Or dishing the truth, for that matter?
I’m not one to shy away from being honest. If it’s on my mind, I generally say it.
But, so many folks would much rather sweep the truth under the rug and paint a picture with rose-colored glasses.
Now, I’m not talking about white lies like, “Sure, Mom, dinner was great!”
I’m talking about those things that bottle up inside over time — either something festering with a friend, family member, partner, co-worker, etc.
Instead of being open and honest about a situation, we tend to keep it to ourselves and think, “It’s not that big of a deal.”
Before we know it, we’ve made a mountain out of a molehill all because we weren’t honest with ourselves, the other person or the situation.
Growing up, I rarely shared what I was thinking. It always seemed safer to lay low and move on from any situation. So instead of telling a friend just how upset they had made me feel, I let it build up inside, getting myself so worked up over a situation — all the while the other person had no idea how I felt.
I was afraid my words would hurt. I worried whether having an honest discussion would ruin the friendship. So, I rarely said a word. I kept the peace and let it bother me inside.
Somewhere along the way, I grew out of keeping things under wraps. If I didn’t like what a friend said to me or how I was treated, I let them know. If a friend was heading down the wrong path, I let them know.
I eventually stopped shielding my thoughts and started being honest and open about how I was feeling. Not only did I feel better, but my relationships seemed to be stronger than ever before.
It hasn’t been a smooth ride, though. Some folks seem surprised when I’m just being honest about a situation.
It’s as if I should lie — “No, it’s OK if you treat me like crap. I’ll still be your friend.”
Former Pa. Gov. Ed Rendell was right when last year he said, “We’ve become a nation of wussies.”
We’re softies who are just plain afraid of hearing it like it is.
We don’t want to hear the truth. We don’t want reality. We want to live in a fairytale land filled with rainbows and puppy dogs. Unfortunately, life isn’t like that.
Look at how public relations firms, the government and others spin news stories with a flowery appeal.
Instead of being upfront and honest about a situation, we’re led to believe only a portion of the truth … or none of it at all.
And, when the truth makes it’s way out (and it always does), it’s never a good outcome thanks to the lies that led to that point.
In our personal lives, it could be as simple as telling your friends you enjoy Mexican food when you really don’t. Or, it could be more severe, like not telling a family member just how sick you are.
You want to make those you love feel comfortable.
But, in our efforts to only focus on the good side of an issue, we tend to ignore what’s at the root of the problem. So, when we’re in a broken relationship, or an issue arises between friends, it’s far easier to let it slide and sugarcoat what’s wrong.
But, each time you ignore the problem, it gets tacked on to the next issue, and before you know it, you snap.
Obviously, there’s an art to being honest. You have to understand when and how to approach a subject, and consider any possible outcomes so not to be surprised by the reactions. Ultimately, you’ll decide — and hopefully know — what’s best for your situation.
When I’m considering whether to talk to a loved one about a situation, I always think back to one phrase — “Better out than in I always say.”
Who knew that phrase — spoken by an animated ogre named Shrek — could ring true for more than just bodily functions?
No matter how difficult a conversation might be, it’s better to talk about what’s going on than to let something build up and eventually explode. Our loved ones deserve the truth. We owe it to ourselves to give the truth.
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erikdolnack
Rendell makes a point. However, I don’t know if it’s so much a matter of being “wussies”, or if ‘political correctness’ has everyone walking on eggshells today, particularly in the mainstream [read: corporate] media?
I wonder if Americans don’t want to hear the truth, or whether our political leaders don’t want to tell us the truth?
For example, do most Americans really care whether tax rates on the upper 1% rise? Probably not. Each person is probably only more concerned with his or her own individual tax rates, and whether they’ll rise or fall. However, does anyone in our government today (of either party) dare to make the case that increasing taxes on the super rich may have a [get this!] positive affect on our national economy today? Hardly. Instead, the media does it’s usual job of distracting the masses with America’s Top Model, sports, and other trivia. When the masses do get politics, they receive two-second sound bytes challenging their right to not have to pay for other peoples’ condoms.
But where was the “honesty” there? It’s a game of lying by omission. The politicians and media are good at it. It’s what they DON’T say that matters!
Where am I going with this? I forgot.
Oh yeah, Rendell calling the populace “wussies”. I am challenging that statement by the former Governor. No, I’d challenge Mr Rendell to illustrate any leading political figures in Washington who aren’t on the payroll of some major corporation or aren’t receiving benefits or kickbacks in some manner from their criminal friends on Wall Street.
I don’t agree with the Tea Party on anything, except this. When the Teabaggers claim that the US government is corrupt, they’re right. I do agree with them there. However, where they’re wrong is in not identifying the root cause of that corruption: corporate money and its influence. The people aren’t “wussies”. They aren’t sheep. But the leaders are whores, sluts, prostitutes that sold us all out long ago and keep us all in the dark.