Two Day Magazine

Bringing Back the Joy of Living and Loving...

It’s easy for one’s love life to take a backseat to their work life. American culture doesn’t appreciate or put value on the most important part of being human: the ability to love and be loved. So, how can we all take a step back from the things that distract us most (work, obligations, our cell phones, email, daily financial stresses) and reconnect with the ones we love the most? Here are some simple steps to take to bring the love back into your life.

Step One: Acknowledge that your life is out of balance.

If you find yourself rushing home, rushing to the gym, rushing to work, missing your lover, guess what? Your life is out of whack. Consider this: The United Nations’ International Labor Organization (ILO) states that:

“Workers in the United States are putting in more hours than anyone else in the industrialized world.”

The group also stated that we are only adding hours to our work year. In 1990, the average American worked 1,942 hours, and now? We work 1,978 and climbing! That’s 100 hours more a year than workers in Canada, Australia or Japan. We work 250 hours more a year than Brazilians and the British. Germans work 500 hours less a year than Americans! That’s 12-and-a-half weeks more vacation time than us!

What is even more disturbing to the ILO is that, “the increase in number of hours worked within the United States runs counter to the trend in other industrialized nations. There, we are seeing a declining number of hours worked annually.”

So, while other industrialized nations are making more time for their home, their lover, their family, and their friends, we are spending more time in an office, attaching IV drips of coffee directly to our veins. Sounds fair.

As Americans, we are addicted to working; we must first acknowledge said addiction.

“Hello, my name is America, and I am addicted to work.”

Step Two: Letting Go of the Ego.

Now that you and I have acknowledged the problem, we must learn to let go a little bit. Ok, we must learn to let go a lot! People take a weird sense of pride in talking about their level of stress.

“Oh, I have to get up at 5am so I can go to the gym, come home, take the kids to school, get to work, come home, let the dog out, take one to baseball practice and another to piano lessons, come home, make dinner, work more in my home office, put kids to bed, see my partner for about thirty seconds because I am so exhausted I fall into bed and don’t even kiss them good night. Then, I get up and do it all over again. Every day. I even work Saturday! Don’t you envy me? I am sooooo busy!”

It’s like a competition to see who can have a heart attack first. This is not a happy life. This is madness. You and your partner become less and less like lovers and more and more like roommates. The worst part is, you don’t even get to enjoy any of the fruits of your labor (if you even have a job(s) that pays well enough to enjoy those fruits) and so it makes me wonder, “what is it all for?”

 In order to start the recovery process, one must realize that wearing stress like a badge of honor is not healthy, does not promote peace and tranquility in your life, and will only drive a wedge between you and your lover.

Step Three: Put Down the Cell Phone, Close the Laptop, and Walk Away Slowly!

We are all guilty of this. We work when we aren’t supposed to work. I can’t even tell you how many times I have been out with friends or colleagues and it is a Friday or Saturday night, and we are at dinner or having a drink, and the phone rings. No, it isn’t their lover calling to say hi. No, it isn’t another friend wanting directions to the party. It is work. Work calling, work emailing, work distracting us from life. When you are out of the office, your phone needs to be off. No, stop pouting and stop arguing. When you are having family time or date night, the lap top needs to be closed shut. Our collective neuroses is a major turn-off.

Step Four: Carve Time Out of Your Schedule for Lovers and Friends.

I can actually hear people whining. Look, we are overworked. We are so overworked that we think this lifestyle is actually normal. I am not living with my head in the sand. I am well aware of how desperate the financial situation is in this country. But, have we ever really stood back to think, if maybe we weren’t such a consumerist society, if maybe we didn’t care quite so much for material things, if maybe we weren’t trying to live like the Joneses, that we could actually find joy in other pleasures of life?

Making love in the middle of the day, taking a walk with a dear friend, laying in the sun reading a great book, playing with pets, spending time cooking with our children...are these things even comparable to a new Droid phone or a new iPad? If you step back and really reevaluate your existence, are you going to lay on your deathbed thinking,

“Geez, I really should have worked a little more”? I don’t think so.

We need to decide what we want from this world. We shape it. We create our destiny. If we keep allowing external influences to mutate the principle meaning of life, which should be to enjoy it with those we love, then what are we even doing here? We can’t take things with us, but our memories and experiences transcend time and space and add to the collective energy of the universe. If we are all living a more healthy, positive life, then we will create a ripple effect throughout the world, changing the way we look at love and life. More time kissing, less time stressing. Sounds like a good plan to me!