Two Day Magazine

COUPLE #2:   Friends who became lovers.

Pam, 34, and Janet, 42, met on Friendster through a mutual friend. They were friends for 9 months before becoming romantically involved three years ago because Janet was in a relationship at the time. The happy love birds now rent a place together in the West Village and have worked together, as well. Janet works in advertising in a senior position and Pam is a photo stylist. They are not interested in having children and enjoy their current lifestyle. Both do not feel the need to intertwine their finances and keep separate accounts, although they seem to negotiate on who pays for dinner.

TWODAY: How do you reach decisions regarding finances? Is there ever a fight?

JANET: Well, we have fought over money just a little, even though our finances aren’t intertwined much.

PAM: Mostly, when you offer to take me to dinner and then scoff if I order something that you consider too expensive.

JANET: Yes, that has happened.  I believe I prefaced it that we could go out for a ‘cheap meal.’

PAM: Okay, enough airing of our dirty laundry.

TWODAY: Why is it important for you to have separate accounts? Why do you prefer your specific arrangement?

PAM: I would always keep a separate account.  We could have a joint account for mutual goals like vacations or even to pay bills. But, I really don’t see why that is necessary.

JANET: I agree. As long as you’ve got a will and maybe a power of attorney in place for medical emergencies, then separate accounts are fine.  You just don’t want something to happen and not have all your bases financially covered.

TWODAY: Do you ever feel held back financially by your partner’s financial situation?

PAM: It’s not an issue for me, but I work on a consultancy basis, so I don’t always know how much income I’ll have that year. 

JANET: I don’t mind that our incomes are different; we seem to work it out.  If one of us is feeling too poor for dinner out that night, we treat the other.  It could be more of an issue down the road, if, say, we wanted to buy a house together, and only one of us had the cash for the down payment.  Friends of ours did it and the guy ended up owing his girlfriend money because she could afford more of the down payment.  They agreed, with a lawyer, that it would be paid off over time or if they sold the house, whichever came first.

PAM: Yes, but then they broke up and had to sell the house for a loss.

JANET: Yes, but he still paid her back.

TWODAY: Best gift you ever got one another? 

JANET: Homemade gifts are the best because she’s very crafty.  She hand-painted the “seal” for our secret society on to a box.  She’s super romantic.  She also gave me her childhood skate key – the one that tightens the wheels.

PAM: I like the handmade gifts, too. The latest gift I got was a throw she brought back from India for my bed.