Should your job be your life?
Every day on my way home from work, I call my mom and chat. Sometimes we talk politics. Sometimes we gossip or bitch or just talk about our days. I have a 45 minute commute to and from work so I am thankful that my mom, a retired school teacher, is always by her phone when I call her the moment I turn the engine over in Angie, my VW Beetle.
Last night we started talking about jobs and people who define themselves by their jobs.
Shirl never defined herself by her job. She always had so many other things going on and while she loved being a librarian, she also loved the life she had outside of the classroom.
I find myself leading a similar professional life. I love my job and value the career I am building. But when I go home at the end of the day, I really do turn off the part of my mind that drives me at work. Being busy in so many other ways helps me put work aside, of course.
The more my mom and I talked about this, the more surprised we were at ourselves. We both agreed we took a lot of pride in what we did. And we enjoyed the work we did because after all, we spend at least forty hours a week working, so we might as well like it.
But working, we decided, was and is not our main focus in life. Is this a good thing or a bad thing, though?
Initially, I thought it was a feather in my cap that I don't define myself by what I do during the 9-5 hours. I define myself by the social events I attend, the family gatherings I go to, the trips that my husband and I fantasize about taking, the recipes I think about trying out some night for dinner... the list goes on and one.
It is entirely possible, though, that compartmentalizing the work I do for a paycheck in my mind might actually be a bad thing. It might mean that I never become a famous optician (not there really are any famous opticians.) Or ever design the best pair of eyeglasses anyone has ever seen.
I have to admit to myself that maybe most of the good stuff that happens in the world probably happens because of people who define themselves by their jobs never really turn their "work" brains off when they leave their offices.
Keeping myself undefined by my job might mean that I am a little too content with my place in the world. When I'm at work, all I really want to do is sell fabulous eyewear and make people feel good about how they look. I will admit that I do love the upward mobility of my job, but even after the possibility of promotions and raises and title changes, I still really only want to keep selling that fabulous eyewear and keep making people feel good about how they look.
Maybe in the end I will have actually made it easier for people to define ME by my job, but deep down I'll know that there really is so much more to me beyond any definition my job could ever give me.
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twoday magazine wants to know: Do we (as a culture) place too much emphasis on work? Facebook us your thoughts!
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Sally,
As a threshold matter, I must point out that your tenses in the fifth and sixth paragraph are so inconsistent that while reading thme, I felt like I was in a poorly-written time travel movie.
With regard to your “career,” you suggest that you’re an optician (which I think requires a degree) or a designer. You’re neither; correct? Don’t you just sell glasses? Wouldn’t “upward mobility” in that kind of retail setting only lead to owning a glasses store, at best?
Also, the title question of your article—“should your job be your life”—only has one answer for almost everyone, doesn’t it? Do you know anyone who believes that her/his job should be his/her life? As you’ve done in the past, you seem to be taking a strong position on an issue that isn’t much of an issue.
Merry Christmas!
Powerwalker
P.S. Is your mom a teacher or a librarian? My questions go on and one.
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I do know a lot of people that think that their job is their life and it is really sad. This is a very pervasive issue in our society and built into by our Puritan ancestors who arrived here not so long ago. The question Sally is raising is that is it healthy to look at ourselves in such a singular way? I’m glad she doesn’t! I found this to be a great piece!
PS The title of the article is “Defining the 9-5”
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Powerwalker and I are usually on the same page, except for twoday (lol).
I know plenty of people who take their work home with them. As a former criminal dedfense attorney, I have stayed awake many nights because someone else’s life was literally in my hands.
Having a career where so many people depend on you is not only challenging, but can also be incredibly rewarding. For example, there were times when I saved innocent men from going to jail. I know of few moments in my personal life that could compare to such accomplishments. My brother and sister are both physicians and I’m certain that the reward of saving lives outweighs many personal moments.
So, Powerwalker, maybe you could concede that there are some professions which are so demanding and rewarding that they define the person.
Personally, the pressure of dealing with freedom and life, though rewarding, was ultiamtely too much. I’m enjoying defining myself by other things now, like my two foster kids who, for the first time this year, will have a home for Christmas.
Warmest regards this holiday season,
Hello Knitty
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Knitty -
Thank you for that comment. I love that we are talking about the topic, not picking me apart instead!
Powerwalker -
My mother is a librarian and a teacher. She has a masters’ degree in library science from the University of Pittsburgh and is certified as a teacher by Pitt as well to teach in the classroom K-12, which is what she did for 30 years in her library in the public school where she taught.
Also, no, opticiary is not a field that requires a degree but it is a field where you can seek certification from the American Academy of Opticianry, which I do hold.
Your comment about how my job is simply “just” to sell eyewear in a retail environment where there can’t possibly be upward mobility is just rude and VERY assuptive about my position. I’m sorry to be so blunt.
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One more comment: I take issue with being put in my place for being “just” someone who sells eyewear who could only hope, “at best” to maybe own an optical shop one day. I hold a Masters Degree in foreign policy and turned down multiple offers in that field because I felt those positions would compromise what I really want in life: time with the people I love and the time to travel and feed my soul.
You’ll find many people under 30 who are educated to the gills and choose to “just” have a career outside of their degree field.
Natalie and I are perfect examples of this trend and are no less successful than someone who can boast that they work in the field their degree is for. That is the point I was trying to convey.
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I have to agree with you, Sally. What’s wrong with owning an eyeglass store? It sounds elitist to put down small business owners, don’t you agree?