Two Day Magazine

The Real Price of Being "Beautiful"

If you look in my bathroom and open the mirror doors you would find products covering the surfaces of each shelf. Product for curly hair. Product to get smooth hair. Stuff to look nice and bronze. Face creams, hand creams, rest of body creams, eyeliner, mascara, lipgloss, body exfoliants, manicure sets, a hair straightener and even something to crimp my hair my already curly hair.

The abundance of beauty products that I own doesn't even compare to that of some of my girlfriends (and even some guys friends). Which makes me wonder, if we have all these products to make us feel good about ourselves, why does our society seem to be lacking in the self-esteem department?

This question came to mind while I went tanning for the first time in two years. Tired of my pale skin and seeing beautiful tan models gracing the covers of all the magazines, I, too, wanted to be beautiful and bronze. What I ended up with, though, was burned skin that never tanned.

I never thought I lacked self-confidence when it came to my looks, but if I felt good about myself, why was I risking to get skin cancer and willing to spend hundreds of dollars to enhance my best features? Why couldn’t I just accept my pasty skin and embrace the jiggly on my thighs? Why did I feel the need to wear heels to the grocery store and get dolled up to pump gas?

There is a real price that comes with "beauty.” We constantly buy into new trends because some magazine said, “this will make you look great.”

In December of 2009 I got my first credit card, and within just three weeks, I spent $1,000 on makeup, clothing, and hair products. I just now finished paying off my “beauty debt”.

We can’t avoid having new stuff thrown at us and we certainly cannot ignore all the ideas of what we think defines beauty. I wonder, though, if we spent nearly half the time we do in the morning getting ready on actual spiritual and personal growth, the type of people we could become.

Maybe people are afraid of themselves and the way we deal with that fear is through primping because it’s a quick fix to make us feel momentary happiness. Feeling down? Buy those shoes you’ve wanted for so long. Going through a life crisis? Dye your hair. Too much time on your hands? Go shopping! Of course it’s nice to feel good about the skin you’re in, but what about the person within?

I’ve realized that people I meet who wear a ton of makeup, who spend hours getting ready, and those who plan a day ahead of what they are going to wear are hiding something. There is a lacking in that person’s life that makes him or her feel that whoever they are isn’t good enough without all the extra ad ons.

How do I realize this? It’s because I am that person. I bought into the market of, “if I buy this product it will make me even more beautiful!”

As one quote I found on a makeup marketing website, “Every woman is already beautiful, and every woman can be even more beautiful! It's simply a question of appreciating yourself, highlighting your natural beauty to project your own self-image, letting it shine through, and then finding out what happens next! Remember: every woman defines her own beauty.”

What the heck does it mean to be even more beautiful? This is an indirect way of saying you’re not good enough. Defining your own beauty doesn’t mean turning yourself into a live photoshop version of yourself, but owning what many consider “flaws.”

And guess what? Most men don’t like all that gunk on our face. I recently had a guy ask me, “Why do you wear mascara?”

I gave him a funny look. “Well, I like my eyelashes curly.”

“Can’t you just use one of those eyelash curler things?” he responded.

Obviously, he didn’t understand these eyelashes have helped me get my way out of certain situations.

In addition, a recent study done by St. Ives, found that one in five men wishes their partner would tone down on the makeup, while one in ten wishes their partner would wear no makeup at all.

A rep for St. Ives said, “'For many guys, makeup can act as a barrier between them and their partner, and it seems they simply prefer their women to go natural.”

It’s interesting that they described it as a barrier. Really, a lot of the product we use serves a purpose as a mask. I mean, how intimate is it to try to run your hands through hair stiffened by hairspray or to not want to hug someone because you’re afraid you’ll get makeup all over your shirt?

To prove my point even further, I posted a question on my Facebook page asking what men and women felt about makeup and beauty products.

A friend jokingly stated, “When I see a girl without makeup I vomit.”

Others took a more serious approach thoughtfully stating that many views on makeup differ regionally. What someone in Oklahoma may think is beautiful may be different in L.A.

One guy stated that he likes, “just enough...a little lipstick and a little eyeliner.”

But, it was also brought to my attention that women are not the only ones who worry about appearance. Men have to deal with certain pressures of appearing more masculine, put together, and accomplished. It seems as everyone feels as though they need to be someone else, when those who stand out the most are those who remain true to themselves.

We need to stop and think about what’s important in this life. I don’t deny the benefits of a quick pick me up, but what we have is a crisis: our society is obsessed with beauty in an unhealthy way that has made us forget who want to be, what our goals are in life, and what it is we’re passionate about. And why? Because, we’ve become consumed with this idea that we aren’t enough.

If I died tomorrow, the last thing I want someone to remember about me is, “Well, she had really curly eyelashes.”