Men’s Health has taken it upon themselves to find out. And the winner is? Austin, Texas apparently. How did they come to this conclusion? Well, they looked at condom sales (through Nielson), birth rates (accessed through the state health department), sex toy sales (through Pure Romance and babeland.com) and of course, rates of chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis (that they gathered from the state health departments.)

Here’s the ranking system. 1st=Having the most sex while placing in the sad, depressing 100th place means there is very little sex happening in that neck of the woods!

They also rated other statistics like this:

• STD Rates: 1st place = Highest (so you really don’t want to live in that #1 city...)

• Birth Rates: 1st place = Highest

• Condom Sales 1st place = The most sales of lovely latex.

Now, right off the bat, this is a pretty crummy way to assess who is having the most sex. Just because one city has a high birth rate, for example, doesn’t mean that the baby was conceived there. Sex toy sales could indicate the same thing. What if a couple was passing through San Diego, for example, picked up a couple of vibrators, and then drove back to LA to try them out?

Here is a list of the top five and the bottom five cities:

Overall Ranking:

Top Five:

#1. Austin, Texas

STD Rates: 23rd (not a great score.)
Birth Rates: 15th
Condom Sales: 1st (How did they have the most condom sales and still have a fairly high birth rate and STD rate?)

#2 Dallas, Texas (They sure know how to come out on top in the Lone Star State. Two for two!)

STD Rates: 25th
Birth Rates: 6th
Condom Sales: 5th

#3 Columbus, Ohio

STD Rates: 15th
Birth Rates: 22nd
Condom Sales: 13th

#4 Durham, North Carolina

Condom Sales: 18th
Birth Rates: 9th
STD Rates: 27th

#5 Denver, Colorado

STD Rates: 19th
Birth Rates: 20th
Condom Sales: 7th

Bottom Five:

#95 St. Petersburg, Florida

STD Rates: 55th
Birth Rates: 100th
Condom Sales: 99th

Well, that makes sense. Florida is where everyone goes to retire and play bingo. And, I don’t think too many are shouting out “O 69!”

#96 Manchester, New Hampshire

STD Rates: 98th
Birth Rates: 97th
Condom Sales 76th

I didn’t even realize anyone lived in New Hampshire, so I got to admit I’m impressed they didn’t come in dead last.

#97 Charleston, West Virginia

STD Rates: 85th
Birth Rates: 91st
Condom Sales: #100th

#98 Yonkers, New York

STD Rates: 88th
Birth Rates: 91st
Condom Sales: 89th

#99 Burlington, Vermont

STD Rates: 97th
Birth Rates: 99th
Condom Sales: 96th

#100 Portland, Maine

STD Rates: 100th
Birth Rates: 95th
Condom Sales: 95th

What I found fascinating was how Las Vegas and Miami (often touted as “sexed up cities” ) weren’t in the top five. But, then again, if you use their ranking system, it makes more sense that they were nowhere to be found. The cities in the south or midwest may have less access to prescription birth control as opposed to more urban metropolises. Thus, they would thereby have a greater increase in condom sales, a higher birth rate and unfortunately, a higher incidence of STDs.

So, what has this poll taught us? I’m not quite sure, but I don’t know if being ranked #1 is the ideal in this scenario. Sure, they may be having a lot of sex in the Lone Star state but they are also having a lot of babies (which I would think leads to less sex) and spreading a lot of unwanted diseases, as well.

Perhaps better sex-ed classes and more readily available forms of birth control (like the Pill, for example) would help reduce both unwanted pregnancies (I am going out on a limb and assuming that many of those births were not planned) and STD rates, as well.