Two Day Magazine

We thought we knew how this was going to play out. She was going to leave. How could she not? Not only did he have a mistress, but he had a revolving door of women at his disposal. No one questioned Elin for wanting out. He didn't just cheat (that would have been bad enough, but maybe forgivable)...he HUMILIATED her. He paraded these women around acting like he would never get caught, never experience consequences, and subsequently, he gets smashed in the face with a golf club. That, my friends, is poetic justice!

The night of the attack, he is in an Ambien-induced sleep, while Elin cleverly poses as Tiger and texts his Number One mistress, Rachel Uchitel. Shit hits the fan, as you can imagine, and she wakes him from his drug induced slumber (which is never a good thing to do to someone) and chases him into the yard with a golf club. This is hilarious! He gets in his shiny SUV, scared for his life, and rams right into a tree. Since he is still under the influence of the sleepy-time pills, he then passes out, at which point the cops find him SNORING in the driver's seat of the car. Cover-up ensues, but doesn't hold. No one actually believes Elin was trying to save his life, she was trying to bash in his face. And, while I do not condone violence, I do think that if other women reacted this way to their cheating husbands, there would be less cheating! Shakespeare couldn't have written a better script!

Which bodes the question...why do men cheat? I have recently brought on board a new writer, John Dupra, who is going to explore that issue more thorougly from the male perspective. I, however, am going to do a short analysis of that age old question right now and I think that there are multiple reasons why men explore other options.

1. Because they can. Some men that cheat are professionally successful and believe their world is their oyster. That means, they have entitlement issues. Case in point, Tiger. He had everything he wanted. If he wanted a little Saturday night tail, and he was in Florida while Elin was in California, that certainly wasn't going to stop him! This type of cheater often gets caught because he believes he will never get caught. He believes himself to be so fantastic that his wife will take him back out of fear of a change of lifestyle, or low self esteem. Maybe they have had a few kids and she feels that she can't do better. So, she stays.

2. They want NEW. This type of male cheater is never ever satisfied with what he already has in bed. Perhaps you know this guy. He is probably a thrill seeker, or better yet, a recovering addict of some sort. He is always chasing the dragon, or in this case, the next pretty pussycat that rubs against his leg. He is defenseless against the softer sex and cannot say no. Just look at Tiger and Elin. Absolutely beautiful woman, gave him two beautiful babies, and yet, he is more interested in the pancake-house waitress he picked up in a parking lot. Why? Because he hasn't done her before! Thrill of the hunt!

3. Lack of Sex. I know this sounds misogynistic, but heads up! Men like to get laid. And, ladies, this doesn't mean you have to be Pam Anderson in bed. Actually, I think men are not nearly as sexual as women. For women, the touching, the licking, the playing is what gets us up and running. We want to experience each sensation thoroughly and completely. However, for men, they just need to release their energies every so often. It's not so complicated for them. And, if the wife is busy with children, work, her own schedule, friends, the home...you can imagine how certain things get pushed to the wayside. Just ask Brangelina. In these situations, men are like children. You have to pay attention to them on occasion or they will find a new playmate. Now, part of this issue is more complicated than you think. Alot of women, judging from how gross their husbands look as they get older and let themselves go, probably don't want to engage in sex with them. These women are not turned on by their husbands anymore, and probably turn a blind eye to the men's indiscretions. Getting a divorce is expensive, and in these times, lack of sex may not be a deal breaker for many. These men often times are depressed and overweight, and feeling neglected by their wives who do not find them attractive, they seek out other women who feel neglected, as well, and engage in pity sex. Often times, too, their wives feel unattractive and the cycle just continues. Now, I am not suggesting that Tiger let himself go, but he did have a wife who was juggling two small children, and he was away for a lot of their relationship. How could it NOT go badly? If you aren't sleeping in the same bed, chances are, someone else is.

I have a lot more types of male cheaters to profile, and I have several female cheating prototypes, as well. I will get into those at a later time...I think it is important to understand why people cheat and for what reasons. Monogamy is hard. Getting married young (as Tiger and Elin did) is even harder. But, when the respect falls out of the relationship, that is when the breakdown begins. And once you find your partner in another's bed, it is only a symptom of a bigger issue. I don't blame Elin for wanting to understand why he cheated and have closure on the issue. But, in her case, I do believe he has gone too far and there is no way to mend the trust he broke. Elin's best move right now is to become amicable with him, and move on to find someone who can love her completely, as she deserves to be loved.