Two Day Magazine

Vulva Perfume...

Best. Commercial. Ever.

I found the best video on http://www.thefrisky.com! It is a commercial that showcases a woman being all sexy on a stationary bike, sweating up a storm, with lots of gratuitous crotch shots and a guy just watching. This is why God invented YouTube. For the simple pleasures in life.

Obviously, since the perfume is called Vulva, I am assuming it is supposed to smell, well, like the a woman’s lady bits. But, what’s sort of strange (ok, the whole thing is strange) is that every woman smells a little different down there. And, how did they do research on this? Did the perfume scientists take pheromone samples from random women’s vulvas?

Women are told their whole lives that they shouldn’t smell like, well, themselves, and we are given perfumes, deodorants, body spritzers that smell like cake and sunshine and fresh laundry...but if I knew this whole time I could be packaging myself and wearing it, I would have saved a lot of money over the years!

And, watching the guy in the video also entertained me immensely. He is so obviously turned on watching that girl break a sweat, that he had to practically lick the seat! Not that he wasn’t hot, but the whole commercial had this slightly creepy, voyeuristic, guy- breaks-into-your-bedroom-and-sniffs-your-underwear-drawer vibe to it. But, then again, how do you sell this perfume without being a little creepy, right?

Finally, who is their target audience? Is this for lonely men to spray on their pillows at night so they can smell the scent of a woman? Is this for ladies who just want that “I just worked out and I’m all sweaty” scent? Is this lesbian cat-nip? I know the female scent is very attractive to a potential lover, but isn’t the real stuff best? Do we really need fake pheromones? Has it come to this?

But, then again, maybe this stuff smells so fantastic I will start to turn myself on! That would be Vulva-licious!