Two Day Magazine

Recently on September 11, a frisky couple on a Frontier Airlines flight took too long in the bathroom and started making other passengers nervous. Naturally tensions were high on the 10th anniversary of a very tragic day in this country, and so passengers alerted crew members that this horny couple could be planning something much more deviant than whatever was going on in the bathroom.

In the past, when a couple has disappeared into the lavatory for too long, the flight attendants would knock to make sure everything was okay, or even unlock the door to the bathroom. But not anymore. In the post-9/11 world, it seems as though everything is taken to a fast extreme. The crew alerted the captain and authorities sent a pair of fighter jets to accompany the flight into Detroit. Sure, this may seem unnecessary, but can we take chances, anymore? Has 9/11 ruined the mile-high club?

Not for all flights, apparently. Richard Branson, founder of Virgin Atlantic airlines, prides himself on the fact that his employees are not going to “bang on lavatory doors when a couple slips in there.” In fact, the airline has even installed double beds with privacy screens for a more “intimate flight”.  Not everyone is amused, though. Branson has been labeled as a sexist pig and several U.S. based flight attendant groups worry that he is more concerned with his airline being “sexy” than he is concerned for passenger safety.

But, maybe Branson is on to something. Nowadays it seems as though flying is less fun than ever. Cramped seats, overcrowded planes, long delays, paying for luggage, no pillows or blankets unless you are part of the elite first class, and drinks and food you have to pay for have dampened the spirits of passengers and crew members alike. The “friendly skies” have turned more into the “frightful skies” as people are more on edge than ever before. Naturally to relieve the tension, especially on those long transatlantic flights, people have always found sources of pleasure, shall we say, even thirty thousand feet in the air.

I, myself, have contemplated joining the mile-high club but every time I thought about cramming myself into the lavatory for a quickie, I got incredibly grossed out. Airplane bathrooms are one of the germiest places around and the thought of messing around under one of those scratchy blankets they give you on long flights has never been of much interest to me. I did, however, make out with a guy once that I met on a flight...so that has to count for something, right?

But fear not, those of you who still wish to earn your wings. If one of the flight attendants catches you messing around whether it be in a lavatory or in your seat, mostly they just ask you to zip your pants back up and behave yourselves. Only when you repeatedly are reminded to cool your jets (pun intended) do they usually have to get the police involved, and even then, most sexual encounters in plane sight (I’m on a roll) goes unpunished.

So enjoy flying in our post 9/11 world but remember, if you get caught with your pants down, smile, apologize and return to your upright position. (Well, at least until the attendant walks away...)

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twoday magazine wants to hear from flight attendants...Have you ever had to deal with passengers wanting to join the mile-high club? How did you handle it?

Find Natalie on Facebook and tell her your stories of joining the mile high club...or at least your attempt to do so!