Two Day Magazine

How Do You ‘Kiss the Bride’ in a Space Suit?

...Weddings (and Sex) in Space Inevitable

Would you take a honeymoon in outer space? How about speaking your wedding vows in a black desert of space where no one can hear you say, “I do.”

Sound far-fetched and like a cheesy sci-fi movie? Think again. Weddings in space are coming to a sky near you, and experts believe that ‘cosmic consummation’ will naturally follow (if we aren’t there already).

The Japanese firm First Advantage and the US-based private spaceflight firm Rocketplane Global Inc., would like to cordially invite you to host your wedding in the great beyond for the bargain price of 240 million yen apiece, which is about $2.3 million dollars.

But, don’t be surprised if you aren’t the first to “do it” in space. With all of the long-term missions imagined for Mars, the moon, and who knows where, we can’t expect astronauts to be celibate up there, now can we?

“To say that astronauts are some superior beings who cannot have interests in any kind of sexual feelings for three years...I just don’t buy it,” states Jason Kring of Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University in Florida.

What would it be like to be isolated for a prolonged period of time with very few companions or colleagues? Up until 1980, all the NASA crew members were all male. Sally Ride became the first American woman aboard Challenger in 1983. Today, space missions routinely include one or two women.

Another concern is the possible negative effects of pregnancies in a microgravity environment.

“Are we going sterilize our crew members before sending them to Mars?” Kring ponders as he studies the psychological effects of long-term space exploration.

Our closest example of experiencing that type of isolation would be the 200 researchers who live on the South Pole year round, studying this remote and desolate area of our planet.  Before the dark winter swallowed Antarctica’s McMurdo Station, the base receives a delivery of over sixteen thousand condoms! (Well, what else is there to do?)

“There is an unspoken behavior there [at the polar base] where you take a spouse for the time you’re there---you have an exclusive relationship with someone,” states Kring to Space. “It’s understood that when you leave, the relationship is over. But,” he adds, “I don’t know how it is going to work on a three year mission to Mars.”

“Certainly at polar research stations, there’s sexual relations, sexual contact, between men and women,” agrees Lawrence Palinkas, a professor of preventative medicine, anthropology and social work at UCLA.

Not that you would expect there would be much time for sex. I mean, they are working in space, so I would assume they have a lot on their plate. But, Palinkas believes that sex is inevitable in space and we just don’t know enough about it to know if that’s for better or for worse.

“Human sexuality is a basic need and now you’re trying to tell people, ‘Hey for three years, you can’t do that.’ They’re going to figure out a way to do it,” Kring agrees.

More importantly than the question of ‘should’ we do it, is ‘how’ does one have sex in microgravity? The book, Sex in Space, by Laura Woodmansee, describes several different positions that could keep lust alive, from a modified version of the missionary position (how earthly of them) to a more adventurous, seated position with ‘interlocking Y legs.’ Props (how fun!) could also be introduced, include tethers or a shared elastic waistband to hold a partner to a stable structure.

Beam me up, Scotty, just took on a whole other meaning.