By: Mia Bencivenga
These days, if I don’t see someone face-tweeting a picture of themselves drunkenly bent over a toilet and giving a peace sign to the camera in between dry-heaves, I consider it to be one of those rare “good days.”
Let me be frank: I intensely dislike Twitter. First and foremost, I never have anything to tweet about. When I do tweet, I attempt to be funny. I type something, hate it, delete it, and thus my profile looks as if it hasn’t been updated since late September.
And I REFUSE to tell people about the mundane activities of my life, no matter how unintentionally hilarious others may find them.
“Just finished watching a Keeping Up With the Kardashians! Feel like dying a little inside!”
“Have a hacking cough that made this guy I was hitting on squirm and cringe until he made up an excuse to talk to the other more attractive girl on the other side of the room! Doubting my self worth!”
“Hopefully I won’t have nightmares about turning into Janice Dickinson again! Sleep tight twitter-verse hugs and kisses!!”
No one needs to read that.
Let me be doubly frank: Facebook is a cruel relentless mistress. She calls me every hour, on the hour, even if I’m in the middle of dinner, or hanging out with a good friend, or attempting to trick a boy into dating me; she demands my attention. And perhaps the worst part of it is, I give into her.
Every time.
Even though she won’t stop showing me photos of my old school-mates getting engaged (for the record, please stop it). Or she won’t stop showing me their intensely personal status updates (these updates usually consist of unsightly bodily functions/tearful news of your favorite goldfish’s untimely demise at the hands of your exceptionally vindictive kitten).
I am still faithful to her. But oh, I refuse to bow down to her promises of instantaneous streaming of my photographed tomfoolery and rampant brain farts. Not only because I don’t want to appear to be a raging maniac, but also, I’d like to think I’m doing everyone a favor by keeping my virtual mouth shut.
But although I do refuse, well, usually…I cannot say I am not seriously tempted to act like a raging narcissist. Facebook, and twitter, for that matter, are incredible in that they give you this intoxicating feeling that you are the star of your own movie. They give you the impression that, why yes, the world does in fact revolve around me and my thoughts and opinions on the latest romantic comedy.
You type something in a little box, and people can “like” it, share it with others, and make comments about it. It’s a seemingly wonderful thing…
Except it is turning us all into unyielding, narcissistic monsters.
Now, nothing goes unshared, nothing is sacred, and everything is fair game. Just broke up with your girlfriend? Why not tweet about how big her ass is, since you know that she’s really self-conscious about her ass. OR better yet, why don’t you update your face book status to “on a hot date the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen (her name inserted and hyperlinked here).”
Then, let Facebook know what restaurant you are taking your date to…And make sure it’s the same restaurant where you and your ex-girl went on your first date, too, just to rub it in…virtual style.
The best part? If she calls you out on it, you can accuse her of “creeping” on your profile.
That’s right friends, we put our lives on public display, and then mock those who make use of this public display of information.
At this point, it almost feels unnatural to go through anything without the needing everyone to know. And that’s not a good thing. When privacy goes away, and everything is out in the open, that leaves a person extremely vulnerable. There is something to keeping certain things to yourself. A person’s privacy is very valuable. Why else would magazines like People and US Weekly be in business if it wasn’t?
It’s a slippery slope from Facebook enthusiast, to avid Twitter-er, to raging narcissist, to reality show star. And that’s a path no one should ever want to go down. Trust me, enough people have already, and it hasn’t exactly enriched either their lives (or ours).
It truly is a skill to know when and how to shut up. My hope is that we will not throw this skill by the wayside, and treat it like it’s something old fashioned.
Because my friends, a little class never goes out of style.
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Now, here’s for some irony:
How did you feel about this article? Why don’t you tweet Mia @miasminirants and tell her your opinion?
Or better yet, Facebook twoday magazine about how Mia has it all wrong and we aren’t totally obsessed with social media! (Enter cackling laugh).
erikdolnack
A wise blog post.
Knowing when to say “when” is an art. Natalie is most accurate when she says that shutting one’s mouth is a skill. This is called “scruples”, or tact.
Privacy is key. There are things you just shouldn’t share. Not all details should be made public.
But to take the other argument, if users shouldn’t post personal details about themselves, what should they post? What fun is Facebook if you can’t talk about yourself? This leads me to another conclusion, based on my own personal experience.
I think people today are starved for attention. I think many people, including me, are very lonely today. Community is breaking down. Markets have a way of destroying genuine natural culture and replacing it with a bland monoculture of the marketplace. Think of it: whether you’re in the northeast, having coffee in Harvard Square in Boston, or walking down the street in Dallas Texas, or taking a nap in Southbbeach Miami, or in Seattle Washingon, or Anchorage Alaska, our neighborhoods are all starting to look very much the same. There’s the Starbucks followed by a Best Buy, followed by a Home Depot, then a BP gas station, then a Walgreens, and then a Panera Bread (almost in the same order from street to street, from town to town, from city to city, from state to state. I was sitting in a Starbucks in London that struct me as very similar to the one only five minutes from my apartment in Pittsburgh. What’s our world coming to? Markets are turning us all into robots (or zombies). We’re all losing our souls today. Facebook is part of this disease. The lack of local flavor is largely why Europeans describe Americans as “ugly”. America lost its real cultures decades ago.
I banned Facebook for over a year and a half from my life. It was refreshing to get away from the drama. But it was also very lonely. If you live in a world where everyone communicates via cell-phone, iPad, iPhone or laptop, and you don’t have a Facebook profile or a Twitter account, you’re destined to be VERY lonely, trust me! It’s hard being the healthy one in a land of freaks.
I am always lonely anymore. Loneliness is the bane of my life. I feel so isolated and vulnerable. I know I’m not alone. These are the most unhealthy times I have ever seen. I truly believe our culture is psychologically ill. There’s something very wrong with modern society, and I think the dominance of markets in our world is largely why.
I always say it, “If time travel existed, I wouldn’t be here!”.
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Actually, Erik, my lovely (and very talented) sister Mia wrote this blog! All compliments go to her
erikdolnack
I stand corrected: congratulations for a vey timely and wise article/blog, Mia!
I agree completely with the sentiments in the above blog post.