Two Day Magazine

Sex, love, and the pursuit of healthy relationships. When you are able to talk about broad topics such as these, the possibilities are endless! And, so were the questions! From lesbians losing their mojo, to a devoted husband of thirty years who just wants a bj, the questions kept getting better and better!

When I arrived, I must admit I had the nervous but excited butterflies in my stomach. Luckily for me, the pint-size powerhouse, Dr. Miriam Greene, made me feel at ease immediately by remarking that I was very pretty, and therefore, she hated me! I loved her immediately! From that point on, we didn’t run out of things to discuss, and I wanted to dish on some of the highlights!

Lesbians Lost Their Mojo:

A woman called in asking about bringing the passion back into her relationship with her girlfriend of 9 years. They are both 45 and haven’t had sex with each other in a year, even though they are still affectionate. Is there any way to bring back the magic?

This one was tricky, because a year is a long time to go without making love to your live-in partner. At some point, I would think that the relationship starts to feel more like a friendship and when you lose that connection, and it is only a matter of time before you break up.

Dr. Greene said it best when she explained that you need to make time for one another and you can’t say that you are tired or stressed out. Sex in a relationship has to be a priority, especially when you are living together as it becomes harder to stay spontaneous and romantic. Since neither of them have any children, maybe a weekend away together would do the trick. Get out of their normal environment and routine and try to spice things up.

Unfortunately, my gut feeling was that this relationship was dead in the water and every time we had a suggestion for her, she seemed despondent about the relationship and what their future held. Sad as it may be, sometimes you come to a fork in the road and a decision needs to be made. No one wants to live in a passion-less relationship forever. Perhaps some time apart would do them both good. It’s okay to just be friends, but it isn’t fair to hold each other back from finding a new love.

The Greedy Wife:

One man called in and wanted to know if there was any way to get his wife to go down on him. After 30 years of marriage, she was becoming more open to the idea, but thinks that going down on a guy is slutty and only prostitutes do that. However, the twist was that she didn’t mind him going down on her at all. Well, that doesn’t seem very fair! Dr. Greene and I felt that she was a greedy wife, and you can’t expect to take and not give.

Dr. Greene asked him if had ever tried the 69 position, which he said he hadn’t. This was a great suggestion, as she can receive pleasure from him, while giving him pleasure, as well. This is a fair compromise, for sure! It’s a win-win!

I suggested that perhaps part of her apprehension was hygiene, so why not take a shower first to get things rolling? A sexy shower for two always can set a mood! Soap each other up, play for a while, and then head to the bedroom for some oral action.

While I don’t understand the prostitution or slut comments, I suppose some women worry that their husbands will lack respect for them if they perform certain acts in the bedroom. But, sex is about having fun with one another, exploring one another’s bodies and desires. Shame has no place in between the sheets, so ladies, let loose and have fun! Your partner will be pleasantly surprised and it will keep the fire burning!

His wife didn’t want to perform oral on him without a condom, so why not try flavored condoms to keep things tasty? Hey, whatever is going to get her to go down is a viable solution! He seemed very open to these options and I hope it worked out! I give him a lot of credit for wanting to spice things up after thirty years! (And for waiting so long!)

Overworked Parents:

Sometimes, you can just feel the stress and anxiety in someone else’s voice. This particular caller sounded stressed to the max and didn’t know what to do with her marriage. Her and her husband have one child and between both of them working, exhaustion from housework and raising a child, they just don’t know when to fit in time for sex.

I asked her if they have date nights and she said “no”. Their bedroom has become only a place for sleeping and they are in dangerous territory of becoming roommates instead of lovers. Instead of making excuses, they need to make time. Why not hire a sitter for a few hours every other week so that they can both get out of the house, have a romantic evening, come home to a sleeping child so that they can both do something other than sleep? When I recommended this, the woman on the phone sighed deeply, as if it was too much work even to do that. She even muttered something about “penciling it in her schedule if she can.”

Well, Dr. Greene wasn’t having any of it and told her, “You need to make time! No excuses! Just do it!”

This is what I like to call the “tough love” approach that is sometimes vital in order to shake people out of their ruts in relationships. Someone needs to hold up that mirror so that you can see what’s really happening to you and your relationship.

‘Just do it’ is right! You can’t over think sex, you can’t rationalize it, or pencil it in. You just have to be in the moment, commit to the moment, and let go. Even if you are tired, sex can still be pleasurable and the more you do it, the more you will want to do it and that snowball effect will add up to a lot of great sex in your future! But, you have to take that first step and make it happen!

Relationships are work, marriage is harder work. Marriages can survive and they can thrive as long as both people are committed to planting those seeds and letting them grow! Good luck!