Two Day Magazine

The Glamorization of Domestic Violence?

I’ve been wanting to write a blog on Eminem and Rihanna’s new video for “Love the Way You Lie” for a while now, but I couldn’t figure out how I felt about the song and lyrics. My knee jerk reaction was that this was an exploitation of Rihanna’s recent and very painful encounter with Chris Brown and that Eminem was cashing in on the sensationalism of the situation. I didn’t know if it was healthy or smart for her to tackle a song of this magnitude so soon after going what she went through.

But, I thought, maybe it is therapeutic for her to sing about domestic violence and how it can really ruin your sense of self and ability to reason. Then, I heard her sing the refrain:

“Just gonna stand there/ And watch me burn/ But that’s alright/ Because I like/ The way it hurts/ Just gonna stand there/ And hear me cry/ But that’s alright/ Because I love/ The way you lie/ I love the way you lie.”

Clearly, both Rihanna and Eminem have had past issues with abuse, whether it be on the receiving end or playing the role of the abuser. It frightened me to hear how seductive the refrain sounded; the way she sang it made it more of a siren’s song than a song about domestic abuse. But, then again, the problem with domestic violence is that cycle of seduction and then repulsion.

This theme of a vicious cycle was reinforced when Eminem raps “Where you going/ I’m leaving you/ No you ain’t/ Come back/ We’re running right back/ Here we go again/ It’s so insane.”

The two have become dependent on one another, preying on each other’s weaknesses and fears, manipulating their desire to break free with the promise of a new beginning, sans violence. When Rihanna sings about the pleasure she feels to burn, clearly indicates how someone trapped in a violent relationship becomes subservient to not only the abuser, but to the violence, itself. The violence becomes a regular player in the relationship, and without this pain, the abused may not feel loved by the abuser, or wanted, or desired. The heart begins to play tricks in assuming that there is no love without pain and this need for pain is much deeper than the relationship itself.

The video (thankfully) does not put Rihanna in the part of the abuser or the abused. Instead, she is on the outside, looking in, along with Eminem. The video stars Megan Fox and Dominic Monaghan as they play out an abusive, sexual and turbulent relationship.

I did not like that the fighting in the very beginning seemed more like foreplay and less like violence. Yes, there was some thrashing about on the bed, but the biting turned to nibbling and the energy quickly became more sexual than vicious. It did not help that Megan Fox, the sex symbol of the moment, was cast as the lead. This only glamorized the situation further, preventing the director from perhaps taking this message to the next level.
Even when Fox displays a bruise on her cheek towards the end of the video, it doesn’t do much to mar her lovely face or to show that violence isn’t sexy. They could have really made a statement with this video. Monaghan looks the part of a frustrated, frightened man who is at the end of his rope. He is dealing with addiction and clearly needs help. Fox looks out of place in this video; there are no underlying demons pushing her to the brink, only a cell phone number on his hand.

The lyrics are so strong and intense, and the video just doesn’t match that energy. If they had truly wanted to make statement about violence in relationships, why not show someone critically injured or dead? Why not show cops making arrests? Why not show consequences? Instead, the video ends as it begins, with Fox and Monaghan in bed, and while the lyrics represent a certain cycle of pain and passion, there was a chance to showcase the reality of the situation, which was not represented in the video. All in all, it was a pretty, flashy video that matched a catchy song, but the underlying message of the addictive and dangerous cycle of domestic abuse was, unfortunately, lost.