Two Day Magazine

Can you imagine being in the middle of sex with a guy, who was wearing a condom, to finding out halfway through that said condom was on the floor, along with your NuvaRing birth control that he pulled out of your body? Go on, take it in for a minute.

I was informed today of an article in the Huffington Post that details this exact situation. Anya Alvarez, who, after being violated by this jackass, decided to start a Facebook page entitled: “Standing Up to Idiots Who Think They Can Get Away With This.”

Anya was in the throws of passion last week, when she realized her partner pulled out her NuvaRing (a form of birth control shaped like a ring that fits against inside the vagina, releasing hormones to prevent pregnancy) and had removed his condom--without her knowledge or consent! As a volunteer in their local teen health clinic, Anya knew things like this could occur, as she had heard from other girls that their partners would poke holes in condoms to see if they could impregnate them; but this was taking that disrespect to a whole new level of crazy! After she escaped Crazy’s apartment, she wrote him this angry email:

“The fact that you pulled out my birth control without even asking shows a complete disregard for me. I can’t explain how angry that made me. I was just completely shocked and couldn’t even react. I don’t care about the reason why you did it. I do’t even want an apology. Also, when I ask someone to wear a condom that means I want them to wear a condom. Okay?”

The charming lad responded in such a way that I was speechless upon reading it:

“It was what I have always done...Other women didn’t say anything about it. Everyone is different when it comes to that and that was stupid not to ask. I felt bad all day.”

He ‘felt bad all day’? Are you kidding me? He didn’t even actually apologize, and the fact that this seems to be a regular occurrence with this disrespectful little prick makes me question his sanity! Anya replied:

“You mean to tell me that you just go around sleeping with different women pulling off your condom and pulling out a woman’s form of birth control? The reason why we use birth control is so that when we make the mistake of sleeping with assholes like you, we don’t produce another asshole.”

Touché,  Anya! But, she didn’t stop there. She believes this wasn’t about “daddy lust”. She believes it was about “power, control, and showing a woman who’s boss. It was a form of sexual assault.” She is looking for an attorney to take this jackass to court.

However, she can’t find anyone because, “although wrong, there is no assault and no agreement to use contraception other than common courtesy and decency.” Stated one lawyer.

Now, if Anya were to have contracted an STI or become pregnant (let’s hope not!) then, the lawyer may consider her case. “Then, there might be a negligence action. But, until there is harm, there’s nothing there.”

This is truly a disturbing situation at hand. Basically, there are no laws to protect female autonomy. This jerk literally pulled something out of her body that was regulating her hormones. How can we not have a law on the books that protects women from being placed in a dangerous and unwanted situation like this? This smart young woman, Anya, is doing everything in her power to protect herself from disease and unwanted pregnancy, and this loser is allowed to put her in harms way for his own selfish reasons? Actually, I don’t even know what his reason for this action was, to be honest. He never even explained himself fully!

This is so interesting to me, because usually women are the ones accused of trying to “trap” men into fatherhood by neglecting their birth control pills or lying about taking them. The Huffington Post also reported that a recent article in the journal, Contraception, states that in a poll taken of 1,300 young mothers (ages 16-29) showed that 15% had experienced some form of ‘birth control sabotage’ from their partner, while 19% experienced‘pregnancy coercion’. This form of control over a female’s body also was linked to their partner being violent, as well. In fact, 35% had experienced some form of domestic violence. Unfortunately, the journal went on to state that pregnancy coercion and birth control sabotage are common among young women utilizing family planning clinics, and are at higher risk for unintended pregnancy!

We, as a society, need to decide if we respect women’s bodies and women as people. Do we want our daughters growing up in a world where men can do what they want to our bodies without question or fear or repercussions? Do we want to live in a world where women are forced into unwanted pregnancies? Do we want to live in a world where a man can potentially give you HIV or other STIs and is only held responsible after the fact? We had better decide, because things are getting weirder and weirder around here and I just don’t know what it is all leading to other than total dominance of the female spirit. And, make no mistake about it, if we chain her, we lose our humanity.