Two Day Magazine

I think about this question a lot, considering I have a sister who is just finishing high school. So many girls her age and younger are sexually active and often times going at it unprotected and misinformed. Even the ones that aren’t having sex are running into issues about their bodies with their parents. For example, one girl needs to get on the pill to help reduce her ovarian cysts, but her mother refuses to because she worries it will be an “excuse” for her to have sex. So, the question remains. Do your parents need to know if you want to go on birth control, use the morning after pill or have an abortion? At what point do women control their reproductive bodies? When a girl starts menstruating, does that give her the right to take control of her cycle?

A 13 year old girl from Kunkletown, Pennsylvania gave herself an “at home” abortion this weekend by using a pencil because PA has a parent consent law in which minors must receive consent from a guardian in order to undergo an abortion. Since this girl clearly felt that she couldn’t tell her family what was going on, she became terribly ill after wounding herself and went into contractions before going into labor. The girl had been sleeping with a 30 year old man who buried the fetus in his backyard. He is being charged with rape of a child, involuntary deviate sexual intercourse, and concealing the death of a child.

Now, I don’t bring this story up disgust or offend anyone. I bring it up because clearly we have a problem. Why is it in this country young girls are taking such extreme measures to end unwanted pregnancies? Recently there was a story of a young girl from Utah paying a man to beat her in the stomach to induce a miscarriage. Had either young women been able to go to the doctor for a safe abortion, they would not be going through the physical pain and suffering that they are now.

Advocates of parental consent and parental notification state that their reasoning for a minor having to get consent is so that their guardian or parent will know that the teen is sexually active, in case the teen has been raped and legal action is necessary. However, life in theory is very different from life in reality. The reality is, this family was unaware that their 13 year old was going through any of this trauma and it unfortunately ended with a little girl being raped, wounded and so afraid to tell her parents what had transpired that she ended up in a very dangerous and life-threatening situation.

It all goes back to education. If we educate our youth (in an age appropriate manner) about their bodies, about their sexuality and about their options, we empower them, give them a voice and give them choices. So many young men and women are unaware of the reality of teen pregnancy, of the dangers of contracting STIs, of the emotional weight of becoming sexually active too soon. There is a stigma out there that many young girls feel. Some who have had sex perhaps too early are afraid to reach out and talk about their decisions, afraid of being harassed or exploited. Those who have been molested or raped are afraid to come forward, fearing it is their fault as to what transpired, not knowing if anyone will believe them or support them.

Until parents and adults start acknowledging that our children will become sexual at some point in their young adult lives, we aren’t going to get anywhere with these issues.  While it is nice to think that every child will wait until they are “ready” for sex, it doesn’t always happen that way and laws that inhibit young people from making decisions that impact their lives forever are misguided and harmful. It’s time to start taking our heads out of the sand and realize that children and young adults need our guidance, they need our support, and they need correct information and proper education on the greatest gift we are given--ourselves.