Two Day Magazine

Have you ever been in a relationship where you felt like you had to take control of everything because you had the sneaking suspicion that you had replaced her dad? No decision could be made unless you made it? That can get really old, really quick. Maybe you need to rethink the girls you date and start dating women, instead. Here are some signs that your girlfriend is, like, so stuck in middle school!

5 Reasons to Dump Miss Immaturity:

1. She has so many stuffed animals on her bed that by the time you remove them all, you are too tired for sex!

    DUMP THE GIRL: Seriously, I have known grown women that have baby dolls in their bedrooms, stuffed animals on their bed, and more throw pillows than you can even imagine! Are you kidding me? A bed serves two purposes. Sex and sleep. (Hopefully in that order!) A real woman’s bedroom is clean, warm and inviting. A few pillows on the bed are ok, but if you find yourself in a sea of dolls and stuffed animals, you are going to want to run as fast as you can to the door, because no one is getting laid in that room with all those little glass eyes staring at you! So creepy! DUMP!

2. Her vocabulary consists of “like” in an unhealthy and unnecessary way.

    DUMP THE GIRL: For the past ten years, I have had to put up with listening to reasonably intelligent girls dumb themselves down (we can thank Paris Hilton and the Kardashians for this) by using the word “like” for no reason at all. These girls can also be identified by their fake baby voices. Why, ladies, why??? You sound ridiculous, no one will take you seriously in your professional or personal life when you talk this way. Men, do you really want to listen to this shrillness in the middle of sex? I don’t think so. DUMP!

3. She constantly texts you, updates her Facebook status every three minutes about where you guys are and what you are doing, and freaks out if she calls and you don’t answer on the first ring.

    DUMP THE GIRL: Real women have lives. They have jobs and friends and things to do that fill their days up. They aren’t sitting around on their iPhones updating their Facebook status from “It’s complicated” to “In a relationship” all day every day. If you have a fight, the status reverts back to “It’s complicated.” Real women respect your privacy and respect themselves enough to have a private life, as well. Not everything needs to be broadcasted to the world for everyone to see. If she is that insecure and juvenile, then maybe she isn’t ready for a grown-up relationship with a real man. These girls also have a habit of texting through a dinner date, texting during a movie, and have even been known to text during sex! Like, ewww! DUMP!

4. She asks for things from you constantly, and throws a fit if you don’t give in to her every whim.

    DUMP THE GIRL: Listen up, men. Girls who spend, spend, spend are living in la-la land and shouldn’t be taken seriously. These girls still live in “daddy’s little girl” world and were indulged since birth. Well, you are not her daddy. You are her lover not her father. There is nothing wrong with indulging your girlfriend once in a while. There is nothing wrong with romancing her and treating her to special gifts. However, if every time you are going out and she expects princess treatment, you need to take a step back. Spoiled little girls don’t make good partners. She will be indulgent, self-involved and thoughtless. No man wants that. Real women know that relationships are about give and take and while they enjoy gifts from time to time, that isn’t why they are dating you and understand that relationships are about the love not the stuff. DUMP!

5. Sex with her is routine and boring because she doesn’t know what she likes or wants.

    DUMP THE GIRL: Real women know what they want in bed. They are experienced lovers who enjoy men, enjoy sex, and enjoy their own bodies. If you are dating a girl who cringes at the thought of oral sex, is afraid to have an orgasm for fear of how she will look, or is uncomfortable in her own skin, you are not going to have very much fun, are you? I think in the beginning, men find this endearing. She is so innocent and sweet. Well, that wears off after about date #2. Finding a real woman who enjoys the throws of passion and wants to indulge your fantasies (as well as her own) will make for a much more exciting partner and will keep you on your toes. Girls need not apply. DUMP!

There are a lot of reasons you may date girls instead of women. Maybe you are intimidated by the thought of a strong, independent lover. Maybe you like taking care of someone and think that a real woman won’t want that. Well, think again. Real women know how to give and receive love. You can still be an independent person and like to feel secure and loved by your partner. Men, stop indulging these silly girls who play dumb, who cling to you, who throw a fit when they don’t get their way. It isn’t cute, it isn’t sexy, and this behavior will only cause you stress and heartache in the end. Do yourself a favor and find a real woman to love, instead!