Two Day Magazine

By: Mia Bencivenga

In case you live under a rock, you may or may not have felt the apparent seismic shift that the entire world experienced when ABC announced that Chaz Bono was in fact going to be dancing with a female partner.

Chaz Bono is the son of Cher and the late Sonny Bono.  It doesn’t seem like much for anyone to be upset with, does it?  A man dancing with a woman on a television show—fairly simple concept, no?  So why all of the controversy?

Well, Bono was born a girl, who was then known as Chastity.  Chaz felt that all throughout his life that he was in the wrong gender, and, through gender reassignment surgery, legally became a man last year.

People aren’t upset because Chaz is a man.  They are upset because he was once a woman.    

Everyone knows what the proceeding arguments will be. 

“He’s a bad influence on our children, so they shouldn’t let him be on that show.” 

“What children need to see is a transgendered person on television to take the stigma out of the process.” 

Etc., etc…

Allow me to present my own humble argument through a rather poetic use of language:

Who gives a shit?

There are about a billion things that make up a person’s personality.  Has anyone ever asked Chaz how he likes his eggs in the morning?  What’s his favorite quote?  Did he ever go to college, and if so, what did he major in?

But no, all we want to talk to him about is whether or not the testosterone he’s taking is making him hornier than when he was a woman.

Alas, we, as a society, are so woefully fixated on sexuality, that anytime someone deviates slightly from the norm we are either:

• Turned on (female bi-sexuality makes a woman both edgy and more attractive).

• Repulsed (gay men kissing on television, transgendered people actually doing more than being recluses and hiding themselves from the view of the public).

It’s sad that when we think of a person like Lady GaGa, most of what makes her identity pertains to her sexuality and gender.  The same goes with Katy Perry, Lance Bass, Jake Gyllenhaal, Ke$ha, Ricky Martin…Well, basically any celebrity you can think of.

Not to say that celebrities haven’t endorsed this themselves.  Lady GaGa enjoys her disco stick and Katy Perry shoots whip cream out of her ta-tas.  But in the end, it is the consumers who make the decisions; we buy the music and watch their movies.

We are obsessed with sex.  Period.  You can’t look anywhere without finding sex.  On a billboard, sex.  On a magazine cover, sex.  In young adult vampire novels, sex.  In trees, shameless squirrel sex.  It’s everywhere!  

But instead of just not giving a damn because sex is so prevalent and um, kind of the main function of our existence, we prefer to talk about it as if it was a gigantic leather bound hooker in the room, that we kind of want to touch, but are sort of scared to so we’ll just call her later on in the night when no one is watching.  

We fixate on it and create all of these demented stigmas,  one of which being that a man is a man and a woman is a woman and there are rules.  And if you break those rules, may Jesus (because you know, he doesn’t have anything else to worry about, apparently) have mercy on your misbegotten sexually confusing soul.  

Chaz Bono, himself, has said that he isn’t going to use Dancing With The Stars as any type of a soap box, he just wants to well, dance, with um, some stars.  In short, he wants to participate in a public activity that happens to be broadcast on television.

Oh no!  Gauge your eyes out!  It’s a man!  That was once a woman!  It’s such a hard concept to comprehend that my small-minded brain might just explode!  Quickly, move out of the United States!  Burn your televisions and copies of Us Weekly magazine! Women and Children first!  Unless that woman and child are either gay or were at one time another gender, in which case, they can stay here.  Preferably in San Francisco, so when the earthquake comes and tears California off of the United States, they will be contained on an island so that we don’t have to be confused by their sexual ambiguity.

If you couldn’t taste the sarcasm in that last paragraph, here is what I’m driving at.

Chaz Bono is a human being first and foremost.  And I’m really curious to see how he’ll dance.  I’m also curious to see whether or not Rob Kardashian has his older sister’s Kim’s ass and lack of rhythm.  I don’t care about who Chaz was, or how he used to be, because honestly, I don’t know the dude, it’s irrelevant to what he’s doing, and in the end, I really don’t give a shit.

And you shouldn’t either.

******************

Mia Bencivenga would love to hear your thoughts on this controversial topic...about shameless squirrel sex, of course! Find her on Facebook

twoday wants to know: Is this a non-story or do the majority of people really have a problem with Chaz Bono? Find us on Facebook and let us know your opinion!