Two Day Magazine

Pick up lines. Who thought these were a good idea? I know it is tough being a single guy out there. Women can be brutal. We ignore you, smirk at you, scare you, and taunt you when you are out with your friends. It takes a lot of courage to go up to a sexy girl at a bar or club and ask her for her number, or try to strike up a conversation. But, guys, please spare me and the rest of the women of the world but putting to rest these horrible pick up lines. And, we in return, won’t laugh in your face.

1. “Hi,what’s up? Guess what? It’s your lucky day. Out of all the girls in this place, I picked you to talk to.”
    GROSS. There is nothing that is more of a turn off than a guy who is so cocky that he thinks you should be happy that he took the time to speak to you. This guy thinks he is god’s gift to women. He is actually more insecure than you think, which is why he comes off so arrogant. Steer clear of this guy, ladies, he would be the one that checks up on you constantly and doesn’t want you to have any other guy friends. He is also clingy, possessive, and down right jealous. No thanks!

2. “That dress is very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you I’d be coming, too.”
     GROSS TIMES TEN. Whenever a guy makes a reference about his semen three seconds into knowing you, you are going to want to back away slowly and run like hell in the other direction. I mean, seriously, who says this? It isn’t funny, it isn’t sexy, it is downright creepy and I would feel the need to bathe immediately after being near this loser.

3.  “Can I have your phone number? I seem to have lost mine.”
       CREEPY. I don’t know what girl would fall for this lame line, but this guy sounds original, or sexy. Guys that say lines like this are trying too hard. Not cool, not the kind of guy you want to wake up next to in the morning! Just tell this guy you don’t own a phone and run!

4.  “Come over here and sit on my lap, and we will talk about the first thing that pops up.”
       CALL SECURITY. Do guys really think this line would work? The only thing this line will get you is a security escort to the door. Any time a guy makes such a bold sexual reference makes me automatically assume he was just released from prison for rape. Seriously, ladies, this guy has nothing on his mind but one thing, and once he gets it, you won’t hear from him again. (Although, that would be a GOOD thing!)

5.  “Was your father a thief? ‘Coz someone stole the stars from the sky to put in your eyes.”
        CHEESEBALL. While this guy is probably the most harmless out of all 5 of the weirdos described above, he will be the most boring, the clingiest, whiniest guy you will ever go out with. Any guy that quotes this line probably still lives with his mother and should be avoided at all costs.