Two Day Magazine

By: Mia Bencivenga

Picture this:  You’ve just watched sixteen-year-old heartthrob, Justin Bieber, sing his prepubescent heart out at the staples center in Lost Angeles.  His white boy gangsta style, smooth moves, and lack of facial hair have got your heart beating faster than a hummingbird’s wings.  The fact that he could double for an adult lesbian also turns you on, because clearly, when it comes to picking out potential partners, you have questionable taste.

By: Mia Bencivenga

My dear readers, I come to you a broken woman.

Throughout the years, I have seen many beauty trends come and go.  From injecting your face full of poison, to shooting a laser at oh-so-delicate areas to singe off hair; it is apparent that women will do just about anything, no matter how painful, to make themselves appear “beautiful.”

Personally, if I was a man and I was approached hairless woman who was incapable of making an expression, I’d probably back away slowly and report to the CIA that I had a close encounter of the third kind. But I digress…

By: Kim Lyons

Have you ever dated someone and knew something was “off” but ignored those nagging little red flags? Then, before you knew it those little red flags turned into big red flags setting off major alarm bells? Well, the authors of The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags know all about that! Ladies, learn from their mistakes so you don’t have to make the same ones!

Who among us hasn’t gotten a little handsy?

I really was trying to stay away from this circus. I have commented on a lot of political scandals this year, as have my fellow contributors to twoday magazine, and I really wanted to let one slide. I figured, let’s see where this party bus is headed before I jump on.

And now NOM (National Organization for Marriage) is none to pleaseth.

So, I watch a lot of these videos and have posted a few that really jumped out as special. But how could I NOT post a video from God, himself? Okay, it really isn’t God (that would be pretty awesome, though) but it is a really funny video by David Javerbaum, a comedy writer and former executive producer of The Daily Show with John Stewart who recently wrote, The Last Testament: A Memoir by GOD.

And I ask, dear friends...WTF?!

Michigan Senate Republicans passed a bullying bill (which, by the way, had ZERO democratic support) that allows bullying, as long as there is a “religious or moral reason for their actions.”

By: Mia Bencivenga

Hey you.  

Yeah, I’m talking to you.  

It’s you crazy lovebirds who drive me up a wall and through the ceiling.  It’s couples like you who’ve been dating for all of three weeks and think you are “so in loooooveee” because you both have “like everything in common” that make me absolutely bat shit crazy.  

It’s not just because I’m “jealous” or “excruciatingly bitter” or “unpleasant” that makes me want to jump into Sarah Palin’s back yard dressed in a bear costume whenever I’m around you; it’s because when we hang out, I hear you throw around words like “marriage” and “love” as though  you are talking about the weather.

Well, let me tell you something kids, love and marriage aren’t things you should be bringing up after dating each other for a few months, let alone a few weeks.  And bringing these heavy subjects up so early in the relationship isn’t really doing you any favors, let alone actually going through with it and actually getting married!

By: Mia Bencivenga

Ask a woman what she looks for in a man whom she’d like to date and most women would say that they find success, among other things, as an attractive quality in a potential partner.  

But what if the man happens to be more successful than the woman?  Well, that would not be perceived as an issue. In fact, some women would see this as an added bonus. Luckily for us ladies, the notion that you should find a man who can support you is drilled into our heads via our parents, religions, and Disney movies

By: Mia Bencivenga

Get-Rich-Quick schemes are not a new concept.  After all, isn’t the “American Dream” the hope that one day, through hard work and determination, we will become so disgustingly rich that we will be able to afford to buy our dream house, and then turn around and sell that dream house for a profit?

If we get to skip the hard work and determination part, well, that’s even better now, isn’t it?  Unfortunately, there is usually some kind of shady business attached to these get schemes.  

Said “shady business” can be a number of things: from stealing your four-year-old’s identity (giving them bad credit before they are even able to pronounce “life ruining debt”), to soliciting your dog to buy the latest and greatest Frisbee (it smells like a squirrel AND it throws itself!), these get rich schemers will stop at nothing to “make” a quick buck.

But perhaps no business is shadier then that of the extortionist.  Their goal is to blackmail you into giving them money, and lots of it.  The tricky thing about these extortionists is that they can at first appear to be many things, an employee, a pal, or even a lover.

Especially a lover.

Meet Tammy. Tammy loves to wear dresses, play with dolls and is a seemingly happy 11-year-old. Tammy also happens to be a boy, whose birth name is Thomas. Thomas was adopted at the age of two and his parents, Pauline and Debra (yes, he has lesbian parents), noticed him identifying as a female from a very young age. At the tender age of seven, Thomas became severely depressed and threatened to mutilate his genitals. It was then he was diagnosed with gender identity disorder.

Another reason the friendly skies aren’t really all that friendly...

I travel a lot. So much so that I believe I have encountered every kind of situation on an airplane. From screaming children to a drunken man trying to fondle the woman next to him, yes, I’ve seen it all. I have seen couples making out, getting down and dirty in their seats; I have seen parents hit their children, scream at their kids, and couples embark on a five-hour long fight aboard a very crowded aircraft. I have never seen, however, a same-sex couple kiss on a plane and now I know why. Apparently, that behavior can get you removed from a flight.

Sally Turkovich wrote a very uplifting piece for twoday magazine entitled, “Sweethearts and Webcams.” In the article, she links to a You Tubr video of a very sweet, loving older couple who is trying to set up their webcam but accidentally starts recording themselves.

Speaking with Nicole Daedome, founder of One Taste, is always an exciting adventure. Her sex-positive speech on increasing your pleasure and your partner’s pleasure through OM techniques is always incredibly insightful. In this interview, we discuss her upcoming events and seminars, as well as what new, exciting ventures on the horizon for her. She is truly a powerful trailblazer and I feel so fortunate to speak with her on the incredible benefits of a healthy sex life.

By: Mia Bencivenga

The camera pans around the room.  The audience sees a casket, and the clothes of the dearly departed on display.  Clearly, we are witnessing the funeral of Charlie Harper, the former protagonist of Two and a Half Men, and possibly, we are at the funeral of the show, itself.  

Both the characters and the actors themselves must be wondering the same thing--can we go on without Charlie?  Is it possible to start anew in the wake of such a domineering personality?

Recently on September 11, a frisky couple on a Frontier Airlines flight took too long in the bathroom and started making other passengers nervous. Naturally tensions were high on the 10th anniversary of a very tragic day in this country, and so passengers alerted crew members that this horny couple could be planning something much more deviant than whatever was going on in the bathroom.