Two Day Magazine

Jesse James is the Latest Celebutard to Check into Rehab...

The definition of sexual addiction (as given by the all-knowing Wikipedia): the phenomenon in which individuals report being unable to manage their sexual behavior. It has also been called "sexual dependency," and "sexual compulsivity." The existence of the condition is not universally accepted by sexologists and its etiology, nature, and validity have been debated. Skeptics believe that it is a myth that the phenomenon exists as a disease or disorder at all and is instead a by-product of cultural and other influences.

...Would You Forgive and Forget?

I wasn’t going to do another Tiger blog, but this interview was just too good to pass up.

I was reading some gossip about him online this morning, and I loved this quote from a “source” close to Tiger and Elin: “She wears a chastity belt made of spikes. They are not living together as a couple. They are putting on a charade for their children.”

‘Chastity belt of spikes’? Ouch! Keep that in mind as you watch the video. Cuddling up to Elin right now may be worse than spooning a porcupine. Poor Tiger. He looks like someone took away his favorite toy or something. Oh, wait...I guess she did take away his favorite toys!

So, I haven’t done a celeb-themed blog in a while, basically because, well, celebs are becoming more and more boring to me. However, I have always loved me some Sandra Bullock and I always will. Which is why I felt compelled to blog about the fact that her (soon-to-be) ex-hubby Jesse James (she should have known he was trouble just from the name) is a total dirt bag for messing around on my Sandy.

Apparently, a few days after winning Best Actress at the Oscars, Sandra received a phone call saying that shit was about to hit the fan, as a tattoo model named Michelle “Bombshell” McGee claimed to have slept with Jesse for eleven months while Sandra was away in Atlanta, GA filming her Oscar winning performance for The Blind Side.

According to Two Guys from Georgia....

This video is pretty hilarious, and really disturbing at the same time. Basically, a couple of guys from Georgia have their panties in a bunch because Elton John said recently in an interview in Parade magazine Jesus was a gay man. Here is the exact quote:

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Yesterday, in Milledgeville, Ga, Pittsburgh Steelers QB, Ben Roethlisberger, 28, found himself at the center of yet another sexual assault case. This time, (that’s right, he has been accused of hurting a woman before) a 20 year old girl, who had been out barhopping with friends, claims that Ben followed her into the women's bathroom at a Georgia nightclub around 2:30 in the morning and assaulted her. She went to the police early Friday morning and stated that Ben had sexually assaulted her. She was taken to the hospital after that, and was released later that morning. The young woman has dropped out of college for this semester, after some found out who she was, and began harassing her.

More Charlie Sheen Gossip!

As if Charlie doesn’t have enough problems! After getting into trouble over the holidays, it seemed as if things were finally starting to simmer down for the Two and A Half Men star. Unfortunately, things have just gotten more chaotic. On top of his estranged wife, Brooke, holed up in their LA home undergoing rehabilitative drug therapy while he is also in rehab at another facility, we have just discovered that the California Department of Children and Families has visited the Sheen home, as well as Sheen facing domestic charges stemming from that ill-fated day in Colorado on Christmas. The chaos doesn’t stop there.

Have been thinking a lot on the subject of marriage in our society lately. We have hit a crossroads in this institution. We (as a society) won’t allow gay people to get married, but we treat marriage amongst heteros as something you “give a try” but can easily get out of with the swish of a pen.

How did we get to this place that disenfranchises so many people over something that we clearly don’t care very much about, ourselves? How many people do you know that are divorced? How many people do you know that have been married more than once? Twice? Hell, even three times? Why is it that some people in our society are trying so hard to get into a club that we have clearly deemed irrelevant, and yet we still don’t allow them in? Does this strike anyone else as bizarre? Are we missing something?

Dear Tiger:

Why did you even bother apologizing? It was awkward, insincere, and bizarre. It was bizarre that you apologized to a room full of random people…who WERE those 34 people in the room? The room, itself, was hideous. Those cheap blue curtains looked like they belonged in a bad hotel. The only person I recognized in that sea of uncomfortable-ness was your pissed off mother in the front row with her arms crossed, a look of disgust on her face….do you blame her?

…And They Say Romance is Dead!
 
Listen up, ladies of Hollywood! If John Mayer wants to take you into his bed, run like hell in the other direction! Why? He has a case of verbal diarrhea when it comes to his romantic conquests. He clearly cannot be trusted to have fun in the sack, because the minute it’s all over, he is blabbing it all over the proverbial playground like a little schoolgirl! Just today, he thought it would be a smart idea to discuss his old flame, Jessica Simpson, and compare her to ‘sexual napalm’. He tells Playboy magazine:

First up: Brangelina and the Superbowl Lovefest

Have you heard what Brad and Angelina have been up to? They sued a UK paper that claimed they were about to announce their split. Then, they made a very public appearance together with their eldest son, Maddox, to watch the Superbowl yesterday. There was hugging, there was kissing, there was lots of lovin' going on in that box! But, what does it all mean? Is this true love, or was this a very well staged photo-op to hush the rumors of their separation? Hmmmm, my instincts tell me this one was all for show...what do you think? Check out these photos of them at the Superbowl.  

Finally Elizabeth Edwards took matters into her own hands recently and kicked the once-upon-a-time democratic presidential candidate to the curb! And, I say, "What took you so long, Liz?"

Can you imagine the situation this woman has been in for the past several years? Battling terminal cancer, raising two small children, turning a blind eye to her husband's indiscretions, trying to keep up her public image to help his political career...what a whirlwind it must have been for her! And then, all the rumors! Edwards ducking into a hotel bathroom trying to escape the lights of the paparazzi as they attempt to take pictures of him leaving his mistress, rumors of him paying his mistress thousands of dollars a month to keep her mouth shut about their sordid affair, vicious fights between him and his wife, denying his own love child to save face in the public...the list goes on and on.

Recently, my favorite trainwreck and yours, Heidi Montag, underwent extensive plastic surgery, at the ripe old age of 23. She underwent ten, count 'em, ten procedures in the span of 12 hours. Liposuction on her thighs, waist and hips, butt implants, bigger breast implants (she had already had them augmented a few years back), Botox, ear pinning, mini-brow lift, chin reduction, fat implanted into her cheeks and lips, and a nose job (another one).

WOW! Talk about an overhaul! Heidi defended her drastic surgery, claiming that she wants to be taken seriously as a pop star and needed her outside to be as beautiful as she felt on the inside. She said that she always felt like an ugly duckling, and that she wanted to undergo this surgery to boost her confidence. My question is, WHY HEIDI, WHY???

It was only a matter of time! Because of all the drama that has ensued since Tiger Woods played 18 holes off the golf course, corporations are finally taking matters into their own hands, so to speak. In an interesting twist, corporations that sign celebs to endorse products are going to add a "Tiger Clause", if you will, to the contracts that will enable companies to drop "high risk" celebs who make a mess in public. Meaning, if a celeb is stuck in a scandal like the one Tiger has found himself in, it will be game over. No more millions, no more free goodies, no more adulation from the public. When you read and see how much money Nike is losing, along with his other sponsors, I think it is safe to say this is a fair clause to put into a contract. But, I am sure there are a lot of celebrities who would disagree with me, thinking that it is an infringement on their personal space. However, once you sign on the dotted line, those spaces become quite blurred.

Johnny Depp really disappointed me today. And, believe me, I heart Johnny Depp. In fact, I think most women and (and men) adore him. Not only is he extremely easy on the eyes and one of the greatest actors of our generation, but he has that European, laid-back, old-school romantic sensibililty about him. Which is why you can imagine how crushed I was when I heard the statements he made about Roman Polanski today. (In case you are unaware, Roman Polanski is a celebrated film director who drugged a young girl and then raped her at Jack Nicholson's house in California back in the 70's. He fled to Europe and has been hiding there ever since. He is now awaiting trial after years of eluding American police.) Here is what Johnny had to say:

"Why now? Obviously there is something going on somewhere. Somebody has made a deal with someone. Maybe there was a little money involved, but why now?"

Did anyone see Denise Richards on Oprah the other day? I have to admit, I was very excited to see what I thought was going to be a melodrama play on television. Instead, I saw before me a stressed out, sad looking woman who seems sick and tired of the not-so-fun-anymore drama, sick and tired of having to defend her life, sick and tired of the name, Charlie Sheen. 

Oprah didn't waste any time, as my favorite tv guru never does, and got right down to the questions we all were thinking, considering the situation that he finds himself in with his current wife, Brooke. "Did Charlie ever abuse you?"