Two Day Magazine

By: Mia Bencivenga

Well, my dear friends, award season is finally upon us.  

With it comes the glamor, the pageantry, the decadence, and in some cases, the mind numbing, nausea-inducing irritation that comes with viewing the endless barrage of red carpet coverage; and let’s not forget the numerous awkward conversations between Ryan Seacrest and Scarlet Johansson’s breasts.  

Ryan, we know she has massive knockers.  After all, they are in large part responsible for the majority of acting jobs she has acquired throughout the years.  She knows it.  We know it.  Everyone knows it.  You don’t need to draw attention to it by talking directly into her chest.  Contain yourself.  I mean, for Christ’s sake, you are just about the most licentious metrosexual man on television, with exception to the boys of the Jersey Shore. 

I am lucky enough to be on Lisa Davis' radio show on It’s Your Health Radio all week long! We have been having some great conversations and today's is no exception!

Twoday’s Topic: Sex and Politics

Read on for the link to listen to the show!

By: Mia Bencivenga

Marriage.  

In many cultures, it is considered to be a sacred sacrament, one that seemingly binds two people together for an eternity, so that they may worship, procreate, cohabitate, and even decorate as a single collaborative unit.  

Once married, you are in it for better and for worst, richer and poorer, in sickness and in health. You are expected to love your partner unconditionally; accept your partners flaws, even if that means tolerating their gaudy taste in silverware.  

Well, theoretically.

By: Mia Bencivenga

Picture this:  You’ve just watched sixteen-year-old heartthrob, Justin Bieber, sing his prepubescent heart out at the staples center in Lost Angeles.  His white boy gangsta style, smooth moves, and lack of facial hair have got your heart beating faster than a hummingbird’s wings.  The fact that he could double for an adult lesbian also turns you on, because clearly, when it comes to picking out potential partners, you have questionable taste.

Who among us hasn’t gotten a little handsy?

I really was trying to stay away from this circus. I have commented on a lot of political scandals this year, as have my fellow contributors to twoday magazine, and I really wanted to let one slide. I figured, let’s see where this party bus is headed before I jump on.

By: Mia Bencivenga

Hey you.  

Yeah, I’m talking to you.  

It’s you crazy lovebirds who drive me up a wall and through the ceiling.  It’s couples like you who’ve been dating for all of three weeks and think you are “so in loooooveee” because you both have “like everything in common” that make me absolutely bat shit crazy.  

It’s not just because I’m “jealous” or “excruciatingly bitter” or “unpleasant” that makes me want to jump into Sarah Palin’s back yard dressed in a bear costume whenever I’m around you; it’s because when we hang out, I hear you throw around words like “marriage” and “love” as though  you are talking about the weather.

Well, let me tell you something kids, love and marriage aren’t things you should be bringing up after dating each other for a few months, let alone a few weeks.  And bringing these heavy subjects up so early in the relationship isn’t really doing you any favors, let alone actually going through with it and actually getting married!

By: Mia Bencivenga

Get-Rich-Quick schemes are not a new concept.  After all, isn’t the “American Dream” the hope that one day, through hard work and determination, we will become so disgustingly rich that we will be able to afford to buy our dream house, and then turn around and sell that dream house for a profit?

If we get to skip the hard work and determination part, well, that’s even better now, isn’t it?  Unfortunately, there is usually some kind of shady business attached to these get schemes.  

Said “shady business” can be a number of things: from stealing your four-year-old’s identity (giving them bad credit before they are even able to pronounce “life ruining debt”), to soliciting your dog to buy the latest and greatest Frisbee (it smells like a squirrel AND it throws itself!), these get rich schemers will stop at nothing to “make” a quick buck.

But perhaps no business is shadier then that of the extortionist.  Their goal is to blackmail you into giving them money, and lots of it.  The tricky thing about these extortionists is that they can at first appear to be many things, an employee, a pal, or even a lover.

Especially a lover.

Another reason the friendly skies aren’t really all that friendly...

I travel a lot. So much so that I believe I have encountered every kind of situation on an airplane. From screaming children to a drunken man trying to fondle the woman next to him, yes, I’ve seen it all. I have seen couples making out, getting down and dirty in their seats; I have seen parents hit their children, scream at their kids, and couples embark on a five-hour long fight aboard a very crowded aircraft. I have never seen, however, a same-sex couple kiss on a plane and now I know why. Apparently, that behavior can get you removed from a flight.

Speaking with Nicole Daedome, founder of One Taste, is always an exciting adventure. Her sex-positive speech on increasing your pleasure and your partner’s pleasure through OM techniques is always incredibly insightful. In this interview, we discuss her upcoming events and seminars, as well as what new, exciting ventures on the horizon for her. She is truly a powerful trailblazer and I feel so fortunate to speak with her on the incredible benefits of a healthy sex life.

By: Mia Bencivenga

The camera pans around the room.  The audience sees a casket, and the clothes of the dearly departed on display.  Clearly, we are witnessing the funeral of Charlie Harper, the former protagonist of Two and a Half Men, and possibly, we are at the funeral of the show, itself.  

Both the characters and the actors themselves must be wondering the same thing--can we go on without Charlie?  Is it possible to start anew in the wake of such a domineering personality?

By: Mia Bencivenga

Every year, no matter how hard I try to avoid the gaping pop-cultural black hole that is the Miss Universe pageant, I am sucked into its world of fake tans, sequins, and thinly gilded narcissism.

It pulls me in with its promises of fantastical evening gowns, and the forlorn hope that I will get to see one of the contestants bite it hard on the runway, resulting in a wardrobe malfunction, which may or may not allow me to see a foreign nip slip.

By: Mia Bencivenga

In case you live under a rock, you may or may not have felt the apparent seismic shift that the entire world experienced when ABC announced that Chaz Bono was in fact going to be dancing with a female partner.

By: Mia Bencivenga

Now that Kim Kardashian’s behemoth of a wedding has concluded, one would think that we, the common folk, would be given a brief reprieve from the constant barrage of magazine covers and E! News specials featuring nothing but the aforementioned family.

However, it seems that the head honcho running things upstairs has one heckuva sense of humor, and so, the endless flow of pointless information continues to trickle down into our everyday lives, clogging up our smart phones with its drudgery.

Point being; the Kardashian clan is not going away.  Not for a long, long time.  So, instead of fighting them, I’ve decided to simply act as a guide.  A voice, if you will, speaking for the people, telling them what we want to see them do.

Here are my humble suggestions: 

By: Mia Bencivenga

Reality television rarely, if ever, captures actual reality.  

The Real Housewives of *insert city* series is a testament to this tradition of televised frivolity.  These women prance around their oversized homes, sipping champagne and talking a mile a minute about the latest all-consuming drama.  

But, in its own twisted way, watching these women and the ridiculousness that surrounds their lives is woefully entertaining.  It’s hard to believe that there are people who actually live in that kind of a bubble, where the day-to-day difficulties of life that most of us encounter, simply do not occur.

By: Mia Bencivenga

In my ever present quest for insanity within popular culture to comment on (it’s not a quest so much as I wake up every morning, turn on the news and go “oh, well that works”) I have come across a story that, surprisingly, gives me mixed feelings.