Two Day Magazine

This is seriously the best anti-smoking ad I have ever seen. Somehow, the french have managed to turn smoking into some S&M storyline, in which the smoker (portrayed by two effeminate looking boys and one ethereal looking girl) plays the submissive,  on their knees, no less, in front of “The Man”, who is holding their head while they smoke a cigarette. This is pure genius. The french tagline to this ad reads: “Smoking means being a slave to tobacco.”

An Open Letter to Apple:

Last night you did something very interesting and disturbing. You have decided to censor yourself for “the good of the children”. You have removed apps that show any “skin”. By doing so, you have moved yourself into very scary territory. Apple has decided it knows what is best for the buyers of ipods and iphones and wants to ensure that we are not looking at anything deemed (by Apple, of course) inappropriate. Because, sometimes those rating systems just aren’t enough. You were swift with this move, quickly eliminating most “offensive” apps, basically anything attached to the words “boobs” or “sexy” was removed. Thank goodness you did this. I have no children, but what if some random child picked up my iphone (well, my imaginary iphone, because I don’t have one of those morally upright devices, either) and saw a picture of a scantily clad woman or man...or worse...Dr. Drew app talking about S-E-X. (Am I allowed to still print that word knowing that I am on Mac computer?) By making this bold move, you have now opened a can of worms. The question is, are you a company selling products, or are you a corporate police force, deeming what is morally right and wrong?

Have been thinking a lot on the subject of marriage in our society lately. We have hit a crossroads in this institution. We (as a society) won’t allow gay people to get married, but we treat marriage amongst heteros as something you “give a try” but can easily get out of with the swish of a pen.

How did we get to this place that disenfranchises so many people over something that we clearly don’t care very much about, ourselves? How many people do you know that are divorced? How many people do you know that have been married more than once? Twice? Hell, even three times? Why is it that some people in our society are trying so hard to get into a club that we have clearly deemed irrelevant, and yet we still don’t allow them in? Does this strike anyone else as bizarre? Are we missing something?

Dear Tiger:

Why did you even bother apologizing? It was awkward, insincere, and bizarre. It was bizarre that you apologized to a room full of random people…who WERE those 34 people in the room? The room, itself, was hideous. Those cheap blue curtains looked like they belonged in a bad hotel. The only person I recognized in that sea of uncomfortable-ness was your pissed off mother in the front row with her arms crossed, a look of disgust on her face….do you blame her?

...Like a Woman with Nail Glue?

Picture this ultimate male fantasy. First, your secret lover takes you to a hotel. Then, she teases you by blindfolding you and tying you to a chair for some sexy time...what happens next?

The woman begins to berate you (which, albeit, some guys may find erotic...) and starts to slap you in the face. But, this isn't foreplay. 

QUEERTY.COM nancy elliot new hampshire from Queerty on Vimeo.

This is why I shouldn't blog late at night, because I end up finding these weird videos on YouTube from people that live on a different planet than I apparently do. New Hampshire recently acknowledged that gays are people too, and now they have the right to marry in that state. Well, not everyone in New Hampshire is happy about this, including a newly elected representative by the name of Nancy Elliott. I think the video below will fully explain her apparent position on how she feels about gay people having the right to marry (but, I don't think she fully grasps the concept that there are gay women out there in the great state of New Hampshire, as well.) I digress! Just watch the video and we shall discuss at the end...be careful she doesn't blow your mind with her very descriptive explanation!

…And They Say Romance is Dead!
 
Listen up, ladies of Hollywood! If John Mayer wants to take you into his bed, run like hell in the other direction! Why? He has a case of verbal diarrhea when it comes to his romantic conquests. He clearly cannot be trusted to have fun in the sack, because the minute it’s all over, he is blabbing it all over the proverbial playground like a little schoolgirl! Just today, he thought it would be a smart idea to discuss his old flame, Jessica Simpson, and compare her to ‘sexual napalm’. He tells Playboy magazine:

Well, it has finally come to this. Terri Carlson, the lovely lady pictured to the left, 45 year old divorced mom who lives in California, has put herself out there in a very interesting way. She suffers from a very rare condition called C4 Complement Deficiency in which the body's immune system attacks itself, thinking it has an infection. She doesn't have health insurance, and her COBRA insurance is going to run out at the end of this year. So, what is a girl to do? She has launched a website, http://www.willmarryforhealthinsurance.com/ , and is asking for someone to marry  her so that she can get proper medical treatment. Here is a little of what she had to say:

First up: Brangelina and the Superbowl Lovefest

Have you heard what Brad and Angelina have been up to? They sued a UK paper that claimed they were about to announce their split. Then, they made a very public appearance together with their eldest son, Maddox, to watch the Superbowl yesterday. There was hugging, there was kissing, there was lots of lovin' going on in that box! But, what does it all mean? Is this true love, or was this a very well staged photo-op to hush the rumors of their separation? Hmmmm, my instincts tell me this one was all for show...what do you think? Check out these photos of them at the Superbowl.  

Finally Elizabeth Edwards took matters into her own hands recently and kicked the once-upon-a-time democratic presidential candidate to the curb! And, I say, "What took you so long, Liz?"

Can you imagine the situation this woman has been in for the past several years? Battling terminal cancer, raising two small children, turning a blind eye to her husband's indiscretions, trying to keep up her public image to help his political career...what a whirlwind it must have been for her! And then, all the rumors! Edwards ducking into a hotel bathroom trying to escape the lights of the paparazzi as they attempt to take pictures of him leaving his mistress, rumors of him paying his mistress thousands of dollars a month to keep her mouth shut about their sordid affair, vicious fights between him and his wife, denying his own love child to save face in the public...the list goes on and on.

Recently, my favorite trainwreck and yours, Heidi Montag, underwent extensive plastic surgery, at the ripe old age of 23. She underwent ten, count 'em, ten procedures in the span of 12 hours. Liposuction on her thighs, waist and hips, butt implants, bigger breast implants (she had already had them augmented a few years back), Botox, ear pinning, mini-brow lift, chin reduction, fat implanted into her cheeks and lips, and a nose job (another one).

WOW! Talk about an overhaul! Heidi defended her drastic surgery, claiming that she wants to be taken seriously as a pop star and needed her outside to be as beautiful as she felt on the inside. She said that she always felt like an ugly duckling, and that she wanted to undergo this surgery to boost her confidence. My question is, WHY HEIDI, WHY???

CDC estimates that 19 million new sexually transmitted infections occur each year, almost half among 15- to 24-year-olds.

What's interesting about this headline, is the fact that even though this country has been promoting "abstinence only" education in our high schools, close to 8 million teens and young adults are becoming infected with STIs this year alone! Where do we go from here? How do we get these numbers to decrease dramatically? We must first visit the land of reason and common sense.

It was only a matter of time! Because of all the drama that has ensued since Tiger Woods played 18 holes off the golf course, corporations are finally taking matters into their own hands, so to speak. In an interesting twist, corporations that sign celebs to endorse products are going to add a "Tiger Clause", if you will, to the contracts that will enable companies to drop "high risk" celebs who make a mess in public. Meaning, if a celeb is stuck in a scandal like the one Tiger has found himself in, it will be game over. No more millions, no more free goodies, no more adulation from the public. When you read and see how much money Nike is losing, along with his other sponsors, I think it is safe to say this is a fair clause to put into a contract. But, I am sure there are a lot of celebrities who would disagree with me, thinking that it is an infringement on their personal space. However, once you sign on the dotted line, those spaces become quite blurred.

Johnny Depp really disappointed me today. And, believe me, I heart Johnny Depp. In fact, I think most women and (and men) adore him. Not only is he extremely easy on the eyes and one of the greatest actors of our generation, but he has that European, laid-back, old-school romantic sensibililty about him. Which is why you can imagine how crushed I was when I heard the statements he made about Roman Polanski today. (In case you are unaware, Roman Polanski is a celebrated film director who drugged a young girl and then raped her at Jack Nicholson's house in California back in the 70's. He fled to Europe and has been hiding there ever since. He is now awaiting trial after years of eluding American police.) Here is what Johnny had to say:

"Why now? Obviously there is something going on somewhere. Somebody has made a deal with someone. Maybe there was a little money involved, but why now?"