Two Day Magazine

Dear Natalie,

My husband seriously needs to lose weight. He has been steadily gaining weight since we got married, which was about three years ago. Granted, we are both overweight, but I started a resolution to lose 40 pounds this year and he needs to at least lose 60...which I have told him. How can I motivate him to work out and eat better? I do all the cooking, and lately we have been fighting about the meals I have been making. He tells me that I am just in a “phase” and doesn’t see how serious I am about getting healthy. How can I convince him otherwise?

---Get Skinny

Dear Get Skinny,

You know, I always think that the best way to lead someone is by example. Telling him that he needs to lose weight may just make him feel vulnerable and/or defensive. Think of it if the situation was reversed. Try putting yourself in his position. Weight issues are often tied to other underlying emotional issues so tread lightly.

It is exciting that you have decided to make this the year to start living a healthier lifestyle, and I applaud you for that. Twoday magazine contains tons of healthy recipes to get you going on the right track, as well as articles on boosting your self-esteem and fitness.

Think of your weight-loss journey not as a diet, but as a new wellness regime. When we put ourselves on diets, we can easily become discouraged if we fall off the wagon from time to time. Take this experience one day at a time. If you fall off, just climb back on and keep going.

The fact that you are the one cooking all of the meals is great because you control what is for dinner for the most part. This is probably going to take some adjusting, so try and discover low-calorie meals that are still tasty. This may make the idea of dieting more palatable to him and more enjoyable for you, as well.

If he isn’t willing to exercise, perhaps a romantic after-dinner stroll could do wonders not only for your relationship, but for your waistlines, as well. Americans just don’t get enough walking in their daily routines, and this could help pique his interest in getting back into shape.

Since you stated that he has been gaining weight since you became married makes me wonder how happy he is in the relationship. Perhaps he is very content, hence letting himself go, or perhaps he has anxiety about being married and emotionally eats. Whatever the cause, discussing your fears and dreams for your relationship openly, and without judgment, may encourage him to start taking better care of himself.

Good luck with your lifestyle changes and I wish nothing but the best for you and your husband!

Thanks for the question!

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