Two Day Magazine

Dear Natalie,

My best friend and his wife are divorcing after ten years together. No one saw this coming and my wife and I have become very close with his wife, as well, over the years. Will we be able to stay friends with both of them without things getting awkward? Would love some insight.

---In Shock

Dear In Shock,

I am so sorry to hear that your best friend is getting a divorce. This is the time that he will need the support of his friends now more than ever. His soon-to-be ex-wife will need support from friends, though, as well. Since you care about them both, I don’t see any reason why you can’t be there for both of them.

Maybe your wife can console his wife and you can be more of a confidante to him. Unless she cheated (which may make you choose to pick sides, unfortunately) I don’t see why you can’t still remain friendly with both parties.

It is unfortunate how when a couple gets divorced, it is almost like you are expected to end the friendships, as well. It seems really immature to me and silly. However, if your best friend takes issue with you still being friendly towards his ex, ask how he would feel if the situation was reversed. This isn’t your relationship dissolving, it’s his. It isn’t fair to him to expect you to drop his wife just because they didn’t work out.

If you want to remain friends with both of them, then do that. If they choose to be petty about it, then that’s their problem to get over....not yours.

Good luck and thanks for the question!

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