Two Day Magazine

Dear Natalie,

I am getting married in the fall and my best friend, Shawn, is a gay guy. We’ve been friends for almost six years and we are so incredibly close, I can’t imagine having anyone else as my maid of honor. Well, he loved the idea (although we are changing the position to “man of honor”) but my other bridesmaids are really upset and so is my mom. They think it’s “inappropriate” to have a guy stand up with me when I am getting married. I tried to explain that he is my best friend and what does it matter? My fiance thinks it’s a great idea, and his family isn’t bothered by it. What do you think I should do?

--Inappropriate Bride

Dear Natalie,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about six months and recently I revealed to him that my last relationship was with a woman. We lived together for about three years and things just didn’t work out. She was the only woman I have ever been with, and I consider myself bisexual. Now, ever since he found out, he has been acting weird. He thinks that I’m going to leave him for a girl, even though I explained to him that I am faithful to him. How do I get him to get over this? What does it matter, anyway?

--In the Past

Dear Natalie,

My older sister came out to my parents last year and it was quite a situation. They didn’t speak to her for almost six months after the fact, and even now things are very tense. She’s 22 and I’m 18. Well, I have recently come out to my sister, knowing that she knows what it is like. Being a gay guy growing up in Missouri hasn’t been easy, but at least having my sister’s support has helped me through it. She said she knew I was gay for years, but didn’t want to push me to say anything I wasn’t ready to. I asked her if she thinks I should tell mom and dad. She said NO. After how they treated her, she is scared they will act the same, or worse, with me. The other problem is that my mom is always saying to me, “Well, at least we have one normal kid.” My dad and her make jokes about my sister’s sexuality, and I don’t say anything, even though it really hurts me to hear them making fun of her. It seems as though they hate her for what she did to them. What do I do? I still live at home and don’t want to make my life hell until I can start college and move out. Should I just keep quiet until then?

---Trapped in the Closet

Dear Natalie,

My boyfriend confessed to me tonight that he likes to dress in women’s clothing every now and then. He says it turns him on and it feels nice against his skin. He said he isn’t gay or anything and didn’t tell me because he is really embarrassed by it. The reason I found out was that I stumbled upon a pair of pantyhose and thought he was cheating. He let me see his collection of women’s lingerie and such. I’m totally weirded out, though. Is this normal? Is he gay and just in the closet? We’ve been together for three years and our sex life has always been HOT...how did he keep this a secret?

--PantyNOse

Dear Natalie,

My son is seven years old and has become very close with a little girl in his class. I have had her over for play dates, but I had only met her father, who seemed like a very nice man. When I asked to meet my son’s friend’s mother, however, the man chuckled a little uncomfortably and stated that his “life partner” was a man. They have been together for seventeen years. He wants to invite my husband and I over for dinner this weekend and I am incredibly uncomfortable with this. My husband doens’t see what the big deal is but  I don’t want my son hanging around gay men. I certainly don’t want to have dinner with them. How do I politely say no?

---Keep It To Yourself

Dear Natalie,

I started dating a woman who has a lot of money. I mean A LOT of money. And she is very adamant about keeping me around. So much, in fact, that she wants to give me a weekly allowance of sorts. The issue is (I know, this is weird) that I feel she is just using me to get back at her ex-girlfriend. We always go to business events, where I know her ex will be. She flaunts me. I feel really weird about the situation. Am I being paranoid or am I basically arm candy for hire?

---Sweet Thang

Dear Natalie,

My brother (who’s 25) just came out of the closet recently and while my whole family is very supportive of him, we do not care for his boyfriend. His boyfriend is much older than him (46) and wealthy seems to be very controlling and critical. When I tried telling my brother that I didn’t like his boyfriend, my brother accused me of not being supportive of his lifestyle and was really hurt. Honestly, I have no issue with my brother being gay, I just don’t want to see him in a bad relationship. How do I get through to him that I am worried? He says he’s in love.

--Worried Sister

Dear Natalie,

I have been dating someone for almost a year now and I invited him and his family to Thanksgiving at my place. The only thing is, he is still in the closet and his family doesn’t know that we are together. I thought it would be a good time for him to come out to them. He’s twenty-two years old. Don’t you think it’s time?

--Home For the Holidays

Dear Natalie,

My best friend told me recently that she thinks she might be gay and that she might be in love with me. We have been friends since we were in high school (we are 22 now) and I am worried that this is going to ruin our friendship, considering the fact that I am not gay. How do I work this out so I don’t lose her?

-Wants Her Friend Back

Dear Natalie,

If I move in to my boyfriend's apartment, should I offer to pay half of the rent? He hasn’t mentioned how we are going to split the bills and I am feeling pretty awkward about it. Any tips to make this less weird? I’m willing to contribute to the household.

--Benjamin

Dear Natalie,

I have been with my girlfriend for over two years and I thought things were going great. I go out of town on business quite often and she is home alone a lot. (We live together.) Recently, I was able to catch an earlier flight and wanted to surprise her. Well, I was the one who got surprised. I walked in to find her in bed with a woman. It may sound like every guy’s fantasy, but I was really upset. She said that she and this woman get together sometimes when I am out of town and it’s no big deal. What should I do?

-Surprised

Dear Natalie,

I’ve been married for six years to a really terrific woman, but I have known for a long time that I am gay. We both grew up in very strict religious households and I never felt as though I could be myself, but lately, the pressure has been too great. I am in love with a man and don’t know how to tell my wife that I want to leave her and live my life openly. I love her, she is my best friend and I don’t want to ruin our friendship. Any advice?

-No Longer Hiding

Dear Natalie,

My boyfriend and I are considering moving in together to save money. Do you think this is a good reason to live together? He seems ready, but I am a little concerned we are rushing into things...

-No More Bachelor Pad

Dear Natalie,

I recently got married about six weeks ago and my wife dealt me a big blow. We are both from very Christian, conservative families and we were virgins when we met. Since our wedding night, we have not had sex. I finally asked her what was wrong and she broke down and told me that she is a lesbian and that the only reason she married me was because her family is very conservative and would never accept her lifestyle. She loves me as a friend, but isn’t “in love” with me. I was really upset, to say the least, but  she thinks we should just stay married and live separate lives to avoid issues from our family. This isn’t fair, though. I want a real marriage. What should I do?

-Played for a Fool

Dear Natalie,

I recently started dating this guy and everything seemed to be going great until we got on the touchy subject of homosexuality and gay marriage. I support marriage equality, and it is fine that he doesn’t, but it was the way he explained his position...basically by using “fag” in every other sentence and degrading the gay community that disgusted me. He said some pretty awful things, and so I started yelling, he started yelling...let’s just say it didn’t end well. So, we are supposed to have dinner tonight. But, how can I date someone that is homophobic? I really liked this one! Ugh! Any advice?

-One Love