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askNatalie

Got a question about relationships, love, dating, or sex? askNatalie and see what a fresh perspective can give you! Send your questions to: nat@twodaymag.com or tweet a question to @twodaymag and let’s get this party started!

 
 

Advice

Relationships

Dealing With a Momma’s Boy?

Tue, 10.09.13 at 10:59AM

Dear Nat,

I'm not one to reach out to advice columns, but the problem I'm having doesn't seem to be getting any better and when it comes to ideas of how to fix/deal with it, I'm bone dry. I've been reading twodaymag for awhile and really enjoy the articles. So here goes. 
 
I'm having some issues with my boyfriend's relationship with his mother.  I don't know when I started feeling this way, but I think it may stem from the fact that my ex was a serious Momma's boy....All in all, I think there may be some residual feelings.

My current boyfriend's mother is not nearly that extreme...not even close.  But I still get the feeling that she won't be able to "let go" someday.  We both live at home right now so that's definitely impacting our relationship.  We are trying to find somewhere to live together but we work on opposite sides of town, and we aren't ready to get married yet.

My boyfriend and I have talked about the problem many times together. But I feel like we never get anywhere when we do talk about his mom, and that we're oftentimes beating a dead horse. Sometimes he is receptive and does speak up to her (sometimes), but other times he gets defensive and says that I'm "out of line" for what I say and that he doesn't think that anything is wrong with how much time he spends with him mom. 

 I'm especially bothered when he shuts me out when he's feeling anxious, and will go talk to HER instead of me! I mean, am I wrong for feeling like this?  I can be a pretty jealous person, so that's why I think all of this feels intensified. He tells me that I feel this way because of my insecurity, but that just makes me feel worse.

The thing that makes this complicated is that she is nice to me. She is not a bitch, but I definitely wouldn't put it past her if she fell into the "monster in law" category.  I never had a problem with her in the beginning. So why now? She’s always is hospitable and tries to include me in things. But I don't know if she's being fake to keep peace and be civil.

I just wish she would back off and let him grow up. I know he's living at home, but she can still give him/us space, especially when I'm over there.  I don't want to give up a year & a half relationship over this. 


I know that I need to accept her for who she is, because it doesn't seem like it will ever change. I don't want to lose him. I'm just so confused.

Sincerely,

Second Fiddle

Relationships

Engaged But Getting Cold Feet?

Thu, 05.09.13 at 07:10AM

Dear Natalie,

I was dating this really nice, genuine, down-to-earth guy for about three years when he popped the question. We were engaged for about six weeks when I started getting cold feet. I love him. I really do, but I don’t know if he is “the one.” I am 31 years old, he is 35, and we are both eager to start a family and he would make a great dad. But, last week I had a total meltdown and told him I couldn’t marry him because I just wasn’t sure if I was ready.

I gave him back the ring and moved my things out of our place. I’m staying with my sister until I figure everything out. He is heartbroken, I feel like a total jerk, and I don’t know if I made the right decision. Everything just seemed to happen so quickly. People were bugging me about a venue, a dress, the flowers...I am starting to sweat just thinking about it! What do you think? Did I totally just blow a good thing?

Sincerely yours,
Cold Feet

Money

Do Pre-nups Spell Doom for the Relationship?

Fri, 30.08.13 at 10:27AM

Dear Natalie,

Recently I have gotten engaged to a really great guy. He’s smart, witty and hard working. He doesn’t make very much money, but it isn’t really an issue for us. However, I am a lawyer with a substantial income and I have asked him to sign a pre-nup. He got really offended and now we are in the middle of a fight. Was I wrong for asking him to do this? It is 2013, after all!

Sincerely,

Miss Money Troubles

Relationships

You Want Sex? I Need a Drink!

Wed, 28.08.13 at 01:43PM

Dear Natalie,

I have a serious problem when it comes to sleeping with men. I can’t seem to do it sober. Every time I have a date, I end up getting so nervous that I drink way too much and often go home with them, doing the walk of shame the next morning. What’s wrong with me?

Sincerely,

No Sober Sex

Relationships

Marriage Off Track?

Wed, 28.08.13 at 07:14AM

Dear Natalie,

My wife and I have been together for almost ten years. She is a great mom, a really good person, and I love her deeply. But, there is a problem in the bedroom. Since we have gotten married, I have kept myself in good shape. I am an avid runner, I eat well, and we used to have a great sex life. Now, however, things have changed. My once fit wife has put on a good 30-40 pounds and she doesn’t want to have sex hardly ever. She thinks I don’t find her attractive and she doesn’t like being nude around me.

The thing is, I don’t really care that much that she has put on weight, but she just seems so unhappy and now it is hurting our marriage. How do I get her to take care of herself? I know she is swamped with kids, her job as a financial planner has caused her severe stress in the past few years, but every time I tell her to take some time for herself, she laughs it off. What do I do? I love her, but this relationship is headed to divorce if we don’t work things out.

Thanks,

Off Track

Relationships

Vacationing With Your Mom AND Boyfriend?

Tue, 27.08.13 at 10:52AM

Dear Natalie,

My boyfriend and I are in our late twenties. My mother just bought a beach house and invited me and him down for Labor Day weekend. This issue is, she doesn’t want us to sleep in the same bedroom, lol. How do I convince her that this is ridiculous and we are adults?

Sincerely,

Feeling Like a 10 Year Old

Relationships

Why Do I Like Cheaters?

Mon, 26.08.13 at 01:12PM

Dear Natalie,

I need an answer: YES or NO

Once a cheater, always a cheater?

Thanks,

Is it Me?

Too Soon To Marry?

Thu, 22.08.13 at 07:24AM

Dear Natalie,

Is it wrong to believe in soul mates? I just started dating this unbelievably great guy. We are both so in love and we want to get married. I know he is my soul mate, but my mom and dad think we are moving way too fast. (I’m 22, he’s 24 and we have been together for three months.) What do you think? Do you believe in true love or am I wrong to think this?

Sincerely,

Fairy Tale Ending

Relationships

Will Sex Ever Feel Good?

Tue, 20.08.13 at 10:52AM

Dear Natalie,

I am 19 years old and recently lost my virginity. It was ok the first time, but it wasn’t great. I expected that. However, my boyfriend and I have had sex a few times since then, and to be honest, I don’t like it. It doesn’t feel any better than it did the first time I did it. Now, every time he wants to have sex, I shy away from it. He doesn’t seem to know what to do with me, either, and I feel sad and annoyed when we are in bed. What do I do? Will I ever enjoy sex?

Sincerely,

No Fun in Bed

Relationships

Twitter Causing Relationship Troubles?

Mon, 19.08.13 at 10:25AM

This question came from twitter: My ex and I brkn up fw months now. We have a child 2geva n we're trying to get on with our spr8 lives. But ppl tln her my twts!upseting her

Here is the translation: My ex and I have been broken up for a few months now. We have a child together and we are trying to get on with our separate lives. But, people have been telling her my tweets and it is upsetting her. What do I do?

Thanks,

Sir Tweets A Lot

Relationships

Boyfriend Likes to Wear Panties?

Fri, 16.08.13 at 07:21AM

Dear Natalie,

I was with my boyfriend (we have been dating a little over a year) and I noticed a pair of panties that were not mine laying at the foot of his bed. I confronted him about this, and much to my surprise, he admitted that they were HIS. That he likes to wear things like that once and a while. I had no idea! I am totally freaked out and haven’t been returning his calls. We haven’t spoken in almost a week. What do I do?

Sincerely,

Panties in a Bunch

Relationships

Should I Have a Baby On My Own?

Wed, 14.08.13 at 11:03AM

Dear Natalie,

What if you've tried to find that special someone and haven't gotten anywhere, are still single, frustrated, and want to have a baby alone?

Thanks!

On My Own

Relationships

Ready to Get Married…But Is He?

Tue, 13.08.13 at 07:06AM

Hi, Natalie:

I will be 30 next month and I'm dating a guy who is 48, divorced with 2 kids (13 and 17 years old). We have our second date in two weeks when he comes back from vacation.  And the whole divorced with kids thing really doesn't matter to me.  It also doesn't matter that he's old enough to be my dad. He's sexy and sweet!  What does matter is whether or not he wants to get married again and have more kids b/c I still want that.  Marriage I can do without but definitely kids.  My question is, when is it okay to ask him if wants to get married again and have more kids?  Maybe I can jedi mind trick him and he won't even realize I asked and he answered!?  YES/NO?

Sincerely,

Ready for Love

Relationships

My Best Friend’s Boyfriend Hit On Me? What Do I Do?

Mon, 12.08.13 at 10:37AM

Dear Natalie,

My best friend and I have known each other for ten years. She is amazing and I adore her. But, recently, she started dating this new guy and she is head over heels for him. I had a bad vibe about him, and I was smart to follow my instincts, because the jerk hit on me when we were alone for a few minutes. Like, really hit on me. He was saying how when she was gone, we should hook up and how much hotter I was than her. I was really insulted and told him to f**k off. But, now I am wondering, is he already cheating on her with other people? What do I do? Should I tell her and risk the friendship?

Thanks,

Not A Boyfriend Stealer

Relationships

Drama Over Wedding Invites…

Fri, 09.08.13 at 07:20AM

Dear Natalie,

I had a verbal confrontation on the phone yesterday with my 22 year-old niece. She called me a bitch. Now, this is my sister’s daughter, and needless to say, I was shocked at her behavior. My own daughter is much younger and would never speak to someone like this. My sister (her mother) told me that she reacted because I answered the phone “rudely.” All I said was, “Who is this?” (because I didn’t recognize the number.) She made excuses for her, saying she’s young and going through stuff. Well, I am getting married really soon and my husband-to-be doesn’t want her to be at the wedding because of this incident. What do I do? She is my niece. How can I send out an invite to the house and exclude her?

Sincerely,

Wedding Belle Blue

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